Shoe Tossing The Work Of Ancient Satanic Evil Says Area Man

December 21st, 2016 | by Nick

Clear sign of eternal damnation

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, says one Fargo man. What he means is where there’s shoe tossing, there is an unabated malevolence permeating the souls of area teens.

The presence of shoes dangling from power lines has nothing to do with drugs, gangs, or kids just funnin around. No, sir, there’s far more to it than that, according to unofficial FMO Correspondent and respected area elder Skint Boobidoo, III.

Skint Boobidoo, III

“Think about this. It is ten below out. A child removes his shoes, ties them together then hurls them into the sky until they hang from the lines for any silly reason? Ha ha, no. He was subconsciously coerced by the once baneful servants of Lucifer to mark the very spot where ritual blood sacrifice occurred hundreds of years prior,” declares Boobidoo.

Although residents have voiced concern over this, Boobidoo insists there is no need for panic over haphazardly strewn footwear. The wrath of these tarnished souls is kept at bay. “Their pagan magic cannot be conjured by Converse.”

He reminds parents to check their children’s bedrooms frequently during the night. If your child is out sleepwalking with shoes in hand instead of on foot, he or she could get frostbitten or communicate with the dead.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.