Source Of Haze Over Fargo Discovered

July 6th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Listen to my demands, or the smoke will continue!

Listen to my demands, or the smoke will continue!

Northwest of Fargo, ND – The source of the smoke that’s been causing the haze over Fargo has been discovered.

It turns out to be coming from Mr. Gary Lofton’s continuous bonfire.

Unfortunately, according to Mr. Lofton, the smoke won’t stop until his list of demands has been satisfied.

For starters, he apparently wants his own free parking spot in downtown Fargo. Mr. Lofton is sick and tired of not being able to park in downtown Fargo!

Also, Gary wants the Red River Diversion to protect his property. He also wants construction of the diversion to begin immediately.

Finally, Mr. Lofton is not going to put his bonfire out until binge drinking is allowed for everyone at Fargodome Bison football games, and NOT just for people in the suites!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)