Spookhouse to provide Care & Scare

Fargo, ND – A new theme park-style daycare service will soon be opening in Fargo.

Spookhouse Daycare will provide excellently creepy care for today’s modern youth.

Everything about Spookhouse Daycare will have a very scary edge to it.

Eerie music and bloodcurdling sounds will be continuously piped in.

Feral black cats will roam the haunted premises.

Dimly-lit bathrooms will have special blacklight 3-D goblins jumping out of nowhere.

Staff workers will dress up like graveyard ghouls and read classic ghost stories to the children at the bottom of every hour.

Spookhouse director Egore Hunchback says: “It’s going to be terrifyingly awesome!”

Other daycare themes soon to be available from the Kids-R-Us Corporation: Bootcamp, Octogon, Transgender, Waterworld, Prison, and The Moon.