Tag Archives: picker

NFL Pickem Calculator Is Amazingly Accurate

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This new calculator can pick the winners of NFL football games with amazing accuracy.

Pick City, ND – If you’re in an NFL pickem league and want a leg up on your fellow pickem pickers, the new Ronco Pickem Calculator is for you!

Simply pick it up, turn it on, enter a few basic parameters about any upcoming game in question, and the Ronco Pickem Calculator will give you its best guess, which has been scientifically proven to be incredibly correct.

Dr. Dumpster Johnstone has been using the Ronco Pickem Calculator for his workplace pickem pool: “I love this fricking calculator because I’m in First Place all by my lonesome!”

Ms. Camille Clampton says: “I would truly be lost (and losing) if someone somehow took this amazing tool away from me, so please don’t even think about it!”

If you need some serious help in your football pickem pool, get yourself a new Ronco Pickem Calculator wherever Ronco products are sold.

Or better yet, just ask your Secret Santa to get one for you!

World’s Fastest Banjo Player Coming To Fargo To Do Free Banjo Workshops

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Banjo Joe is the hummingbird of banjo pickers.

Pickens, West Virginia – The undisputed fastest banjo player in the world is coming to Fargo, North Dakota!

Ol’ Joe Perkins has long been the fastest banjo player in the world.

Banjo Joe first became the world’s fastest banjo player when he was just 19 years old, and has held the title every year for the last seventy years.

He was once clocked picking his banjo at 138 mph.

Clarence “Picker” Chitlins once described Banjo Joe as “the hummingbird of banjo pickers!”

If you are a banjo player looking for some life-changing inspiration, or just want to be totally amazed, Ol’ Joe Perkins will be doing some free workshops at the new Death Valley Retirement Home in Fargo.