Tag Archives: prosecutor

North Dakota county hopes somebody will run for prosecutor

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERACavalier, ND – Pembina county is in need of a lead prosecuting attorney. Amidst political controversy that forced the last county prosecutor out of office, the position has been left vacant for the past couple months. This has county officials absolutely terrified that nobody will run for the primary election this June.

The deadline to file for election is fast approaching, and city officials are getting anxious. “We don’t suspect anyone in a 300 mile radius would be willing or sufficiently able to occupy the position of county prosecutor,” explained Cavalier mayor Burp McGwire. “There are no lawyers here. Only farmers and the occasional shop-keep. Also got a mechanic. We’re offering a generous compensation of 2 milk-cows, a steer, and a 3-acre pasture for the elected official. It’s the best we can do. Would anyone with an online law degree or a forged bar association certificate like to throw their straw hat in the ring??”

This would be a crippling blow to the Pembina county legal system if nobody is willing to run for this elected position. The county will be unable to prosecute wild wild west showdowns, buggy theft, barn trespassing and other such infringements.