Tag Archives: south fargo

So-Called Feng Shui Burglar Breaks Into Homes Only To Re-Arrange The Furniture

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Just imagine coming home only to find your furniture completely re-arranged!

Fargo, ND – Some home owners in South Fargo have recently been reporting having had their homes broken into, but nothing was stolen.

In each and every similar instance, these home break-ins resulted in re-arranged furniture, usually in the main living room, along with a signed note from the Feng Shui Bandit.

Based on reading all the notes, police have a pretty good idea of who they’re looking for: possibly a recently graduated interior design student who is obsessed with arranging furniture according to the ancient Chinese rules of Feng Shui.

Please let police know if someone has re-arranged your furniture whilst you may have been away for the weekend. However, many who come home after being hit by the Feng Shui Bandit are very nicely surprised at the new professional look their home now has.

Former Sunmart Building Being Renovated Into House Of 1,000 Corpses

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morgue

Haunted grocer

Fargo, ND—What was once an affordable area grocery has been abandoned, gutted, haunted by ghosts and now faces plans for a rather frightening makeover. The building formerly known as Sunmart on 25th street and 13th avenue in South Fargo is being repurposed by Cass County as the new location for their House Of 1,000 Corpses.

The screams of the dead are sure to continue at 2425 13th Avenue as the county prepares to deposit copious mortal remains into the proposed bodybag bank.

“Honestly, it’s a perfect location for a massive carcass hut,” said county zoning chairman Greg Barnaby. “Given that the building is and has been possessed by an ancient evil for years since it’s been abandoned, nothing should change with the addition of 1,000 corpses.”

Proponents of Black Magic have been picketing the location with crudely-made Bring Out Your Dead signs ever since the screams of the deceased have been mysteriously heard coming from between what used to be the produce section and aisle five.

Architectural bids on this enormous overhaul are being collected as we speak. If you or your company are interested in building a House Of 1,000 Corpses, you are urged to call the Scary Planning and Zoning Commission at 1-900-EAT-DEAD.