US Military Top-Secret Balloon Dog On The Loose

October 30th, 2015 | by Johnnny
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Runaway dog answers to the name Schnitzel.

Harrisburg, PA – A very large runaway military doggy balloon was recently seen in the skies around Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

The giant brownish wiener dog-shaped balloon is reportedly for a special military mission to “smell out” trouble.

It’s radar technology is as sensitive as it is expensive (over $200,000,000).

Unfortunately, this top-secret balloon dog somehow broke free from its leash and decided to go looking for some friends or perhaps a very large fire hydrant.

If you happen to see this 200 foot dog-shaped balloon (who answers to the name Schnitzel), please call your local Dog Catcher for immediate assistance.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.