Category Archives: Recipes For Success

You can build anything if you have the Recipe For Success

Fargo Skool Board Reveals Its List Of Lofty Goals For The Upcoming Year

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Fargo Skool Board members wear their red choir robes to sing in unison on critical issues affecting future generations of tax payers.

Fargo, ND – It is that exciting time of year again when the Fargo Skool Board announces its list of goals for the upcoming skool year.

Not only is it important to set easily understandable and attainable goals but it has been shown that sharing these goals with parents and students at the outset of the year also creates accountability.

Plus, providing Fargo Skool Board members a good exercise in well-defined goal setting demonstrates for others how to properly function in a post-industrialized society for future generations to come during good times and bad times regardless of one’s fiscal propensities.

Here are the Fargo Skool Board’s Top Ten goals for the upcoming year listed in order of how long they are:

1. Implement classroom-based enrichment through experiential-based learning processes.
2. Seize standards-based mastery learning within professional learning communities.
3. Revolutionize over-arching risk-takers through a collaborative process.
4. Exemplify real-time schemas through authentic, real-world scenarios.
5. Pool bottom-up experiences across cognitive and affective domains.
6. Embrace assessment-driven critical learning via self-reflection.
7. Operationalize real-world models for our 21st century learners.
8. Engineer inquiry-centered styles within the core curriculums.
9. Triangulate over-arching student success via introspection.
10. Deliver intuitive schemas through cognitive disequilibrium.
11. Grow critical guiding coalitions in data-driven schools.
12. Enable dynamic living documents across content areas.
13. Amalgamate dynamic experiences through “Big Ideas”.

When asked to list them in priority order with the most important first, here is the order we were given: 10, 12, 7, 8, 5, 13, 11, 3, 6, 1, 9, 2, 4.

When asked to list them in order of the most challenging down to the least challenging, here is that order: 12, 4, 8, 6, 5, 13, 1, 7, 11, 9, 3, 2, 10.

When asked to list them in order of the most cost-effective if achieved within a set timeframe, here is that order: 6, 8, 2, 9, 11, 1, 3, 10, 4, 5, 13, 7, 12.

Finally, when asked to list them in numerical order based on their randomly assigned goal numbers, here is that order: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13.

Lyan Lochte Falsely Reports That Zika Caused His Hair Color Change

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Lochte’s hair reportedly changed color prematurely after the Zika Virus held a gun to his head while drunk in a gas station bathroom.

Lochte Lomond, CA – Ryan Lochte who first reported that his hair changed color after becoming infected with the Zika Virus now admits that he personally dyed his hair while drunk at a gas station bathroom in Rio.

After sobering up back in the Olympic Village, Lochte’s wallet somehow was found inside his mother’s purse which were both discovered by a security guard at a gas station bathroom in Des Moines, Iowa.

Lochte also confessed to adding toxic green algae to the Olympic diving pool on a dare from his swimmates Jack Congo, Gunner Bends, and Jimmy Fallon.

Subsequent to serving time in a Brazilian prison for conduct unbecoming of an Olympic athlete, Lyan Ryan Lochte plans to permanently move to Brazil since becoming good friends with some of the Brazilian police officers who investigated this truly bizarre case.

FMObserver Lights Candle For World Peace

FMO's World Peace Candle has been lit to show that we care more than you.

FMO’s World Peace Candle has been lit to show that we care more than others.

West Fargo, ND – In observation of World Peace Month, your FMObserver has decided to light our Peace Candle for world peace.

In honor of those who have gone before us to fight for peace, we humbly bow to their efforts to provide us the opportunity to keep those hopes and dreams alive for future generations of peace fighters such as ourselves.

Hopefully our Peace Candle will be seen from Winnipeg to Wahpeton and beyond.

If you would like to donate to the cause, please stop by our corporate headquarters with cash or bitcoins.

We will make sure your donations are immediately reported to the IRS.

Next month we will be doing our annual Climate Change fundraiser at which both hot and cold appetizers will be served by members of the FMObserver kitchen staff.

If you have any suggestions for food items, please contact Mable McCook and speak slowly.

Milkshakes A Great Way To Add Poundage

Why just have one chocolate milkshake when you can just as easily have two?!

Why have one chocolate milkshake when you can just as easily have two?!

West Fargo, ND – Are you underweight and trying to put on a few extra pounds to increase your gravitas? Are you tired of being bullied by some thin man up in the bully pulpit?

Milkshakes have been found to be an excellent way to add those desired pounds while enjoying every sip of the process.

As a public service, some of us at the FMObserver took it upon ourselves to test all the chocolate milkshakes available in the Fargo-Moorhead area.

Based on the number of calories per milkshake along with the overall flavor and thickness, we were going to list the names of the places we recommend most.

We even went so far as to do a Double Blind study where we each ordered two (2) chocolate milkshakes from each establishment and drank them while wearing a blindfold.

Interestingly, we found that we could cheaply make great milkshakes in the privacy of our own homes by using vanilla ice cream, whole milk, and Hersey’s chocolate syrup, where we didn’t even need to limit ourselves to two per sitting.

In conclusion: We can report that consuming at least two chocolate milkshakes per meal for at least two months is certainly a good way to add some extra needed weight when possibly bulking up for fall football, trying to qualify for the Biggest Loser Show, or just wanting to command more respect when you walk into a room full of thin people who maybe have not yet heard about your awesomely effective milkshake diet.

Ask For Your ‘Free Beer’ During Free Beer Week!

Since it's free, you might as well ask for it.

Since it’s free, you might as well ask for it.

Fargo, ND – All across the region, it is once again Free Beer Week!

This will be the Second Annual Free Beer Week since last year’s kickoff was so well received.

If you find yourself at one of the many participating bars or restaurants in the area, simply ask for your Free Beer during Free Beer Week!

Various ways of asking for your Free Beer:

“Yeah, I think I’ll take my Free Beer now. Thanks!”

“Since it’s Free Beer Week, I might as well participate.”

“Got any of those Free Beers left, partner?”

What some people are saying about Free Beer Week:

Sven Carlos verbalized: “I love Free Beer Week! More things should be free, like movie theater tickets.”

Saradoc Tunnelly retorted: “Someone once bought me a free lunch but there were strings attached.”

Eglantine Labingi declared: “Could we have Free Beer Week like maybe once a month?”

Olafia Zaragamba exclaimed: “Whoever thought of Free Beer Week should get an award.”

Baldur Hornblower uttered: “If you don’t want your free beer, could I perhaps have it?”

Fisherman Catches Rainbow Trout On Internet Using Clickbait

Man catches fish online using clickbait!

Man catches fish online using clickbait!

Baiting Hollow, NY – As predicted, a man has actually caught a real live rainbow trout on the internet using only clickbait for a lure.

Mr. Clarity “Clare” Bostick of 4104 Melm Street in Baiting Hollow, New York now holds the record for the largest (and only) fish to be caught online using only clickbait.

“Let me be perfectly Clare, I was surprised as hell when I reeled in this beauty off the internet, using only clickbait!” said Clare Bostick of Melm Street.

Ironically, Clare’s wife is the first person to officially catch the Zika Virus from an app on her smartphone.

Both Clare and Clarissa Bostick of Melm Street attempted to post these unique events on Facebook but due to a new anti-clickbait algorithm, Facebook would not only not accept their posts but went on to delete their entire Facebook accounts.

Moral of the story: Do not use clickbait on Facebook or anything that even rhymes with clickbait such as trick plate, pick mate, kick straight, brick weight, and quick hate because these will not only not get published on the Facebook but will also cost you your Facebook membership for life.

Zika Fears Creating Need For Last-Minute Olympic Substitutes

#1,234 ranked golfer John Daly says yes to participating in the Zika Games.

#1,234 ranked golfer John Daly says yes to participating in the Zika Games.

Rio, Braziliana – Unexpected opportunities for unlikely Olympic participants are being caused by Olympic qualifiers deciding to not go to the Rio Games due to Zikaphobia.

After years of training, sacrificing, and qualifying for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games, many athletes who should be going are not.

Since none of the American Men’s Golf Team qualifiers are participating due to Zikaphobia, players such as John Daly, who is currently ranked #1,234 in the world, are stepping up to represent their country.

In some other Olympic competitions, substitutes with literally zero experience in that sport are volunteering to give it a shot.

Toby Smucker, who has never thrown a shotput in his life, will be representing the USA in the shotput event.

Amanda Garson, who has a chronic bad ankle, will be competing for her country in the Women’s 200 meter hurdle event.

If you would like to participate in the 2016 Rio Games, please contact the American Olympics Committee as soon as possible and indicate what sport(s) you would like to try.

West Acres Mall Stolen By Man Dressed As Security Guard

Forensic photographers capture images of the crime scene where West Acres Mall was stolen.

Forensic photographers capture images of the crime scene where West Acres Mall was allegedly stolen.

Fargo, ND – The West Acres Mall was allegedly “stolen” during the night but investigators on the scene are still only using the phrase “temporarily missing”.

Unfortunately, police do not have the luxury of looking at any good security camera footage because that was also stolen, along with the entire mall.

By cleverly monitoring Facebook chatter, officials believe they are looking for a former mall security officer named S. Rae Hickok because of his claim on social media: “I just stole the West Acres Mall!”

Needless to say, West Acres Mall will be closed today and until this crime is solved.

In the meantime, if you have any information about this case or if you happen see the West Acres Mall somewhere, please call your local authorities immediately for a possible reward.

Young Fargo Inventor Hits It Big On Shark Tank

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Smart Cream will cure what ails you!

Fargo, ND – On an upcoming Shark Tank show, a youthful Fargo inventor wows all five sharks and walks away with a mega deal.

The FM Observer received a brief notification about this breaking story with limited details.

What we do know is that twelve-year-old Kim Klug was offered $10 million from each of the five sharks for her Smart Cream.

Kim’s invention, when rubbed on skin, will cure whatever ails a person.

In Kim’s words: “My Smart Cream figures out what the problem is and then fixes it.”

With her Shark Tank deal, along with additional possibilities for some of her other inventions, Kim Klug could be a billionaire by her 13th birthday.

When we contacted Kim about her sudden success, here was her response:

“From a young age, my parents impressed on me the values that you work hard for what you want in life, that your word is your bond and you do what you say and keep your promise, that you treat people with respect. They taught and showed me values and morals in their daily lives. That is a lesson that I continue to pass along to others. And we need to pass those lessons on to the many generations to follow. Because we want our children in this nation to know that the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.”

Army Corps Of Engineers To Straighten Out Red River For Improved Flowability

Meandering Red River to get fixed with a route canal.

Meandering Red River to get fixed with a route canal.

Fargo, ND – In an effort to increase the efficiency of the Mighty Red River of the North, the Army Corps of Engineers is going to straighten out the river’s seemingly random and needlessly meandering route.

“By making an almost perfectly straight canal, the river’s route will have much improved flowability,” explains Loran Toca, who is heading up the massive shovel-ready project.

The resulting “route canal” will not only relieve natural “pain” caused by decaying tree roots around each unnecessary curve, but will also help the Amry Corps of Engineers win its War on Meanderings.

Instead of having an inefficient river system with a bunch of superfluous turns and sections (not dissimilar to a governmental bureaucracy), the straightened “route canal” will significantly shorten the waterway for whenever it may be used for transportational purposes.

Chief engineer Loran Toca: “Yeah, this here will be a real sweet deal once we get it all finished up, which should be sometime around the year 2140.”