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The Pope Is Encouraging Catholics To Read The Back Of The Bible

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Don’t forget to read the back of The Bible.

Vaticano, Italy – After first decreeing that there is no hell to worry about, now in a rather bold move, Pope Francis (aka Jorge Bergoglio) is telling all his sinful Catholic followers to read the back of the Bible.

The Pope’s own words, which were immediately translated into forty languages:

“Once you finish reading the Bible from front to back, then take time to also read the back of the Bible, as I often do, while letting The Holy Spirit speak to you.”

Pope Francis, while channeling God’s message, also mentioned that the back of The Bible is way after the bibliography, which should also be read, and then reflected upon while sipping some wine.

Another additional tip mentioned in The Vatican Magazine is when reading The Bible, one can glean additional secret messages from God by reading between the lines, and also by using The Bible as a pillow whilst one sleepeth.

Pope Clarifies: There Is A Hell, Otherwise Known As Grand Forks

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The Pope now says God is telling him to tell us that there is a Hell and sinners don’t just disappear upon death.

Vaticano, Italy – The Pope admits God may have had it wrong when telling the Pope that there is no Hell.

When asked recently about his comments that sinners just disappear and that there is no Hell, The Pope is now saying there still might actually be a Hell and it also goes by the name of Grand Forks.

FMO: Mister Pope, is this your personal opinion or did you hear it directly from God on your Godphone?

The Pope: This is newly updated information from God which comes to me during prayer through my internal connection to God.

We then asked Grand Forks about the Pope’s latest papal clarification:

FMO: Why do you think The Pope is picking on Grand Forks to the point of calling it Hell?

GFS: We have no idea why Grand Forks is being likened to Hell but perhaps this is somehow related to us formerly being called the Fighting Sioux. Someone needs to tell The Pope we changed our name. It’s now the Backdoor Lumberjacks.

UND Having Second Thoughts About Their Name Change Decision

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The UND Backdoor Lumberjacks!?

The UND Backdoor Lumberjacks!?

Grand Forks, ND – Ever since the Fighting Sioux officially changed their name to the Fighting Hawks, there has been much regret and many second thoughts on the name change.

Yes, twas probably time for the Fighting Sioux to change their name due to growing political correctness powers building up pressure over time.

But, the choice on Fighting Hawks is certainly not sitting well with a majority of folks who care deeply about the school’s past and future.

The name that most people wish they would had changed to is: The Backdoor Lumberjacks.

A recent poll of four people shows that about 75% of former “Fighting Sioux” fans prefer The Backdoor Lumberjacks over the Fighting Hawks.

Surprisingly, because of these sentiments, there is now some hope that a second name change can and just might occur.

How do you feel about a second name change for the Fighting Sioux, to the Fighting Hawks, to The Backdoor Lumberjacks?