Heartland, USA – Valentine’s Day is the favorite holiday here at our FM Observer corporate office park.
This is true because it’s not only a day of flowers and chocolates but also of overt expressions of love.
We pride ourselves each year in providing the community with some new and innovative ways for you to tell your Valentine how much you love them.
Here are this year’s Top Ten Valentine’s Day quotations that you can use when writing your card, sending flowers, or whispering sweet nothings by candlelight:
♥ I love you despite your obvious flaws. ♥ Love makes the earth spin and causes it to warm. ♥ Happiness is loving your lovely lover who loves you. ♥ Valentine’s Day is the best of the secondary holidays. ♥ If we hadn’t met, we’d each probably have another. ♥ There’s a reason a rose has sharp thorns. ♥ You turned my nightmare into a daydream. ♥ Thanks for not giving up on me early on. ♥ Rising and falling in love has its ups and downs. ♥ Love is like a great margarita during happy hour.
Brainerd, MN – Recent scientific studies show that people who are wanting to collect cardboard boxes in order to store all their belongings in such an organized fashion is a sign of a much higher intellect.
Dr. Debra Brosco-Dax who headed up these studies says that “our findings indicate that wanting to organize things in a collection of boxes is duplicating how intelligent brains organize massive amounts of information in one’s brain.”
The bottom-line take-away of Dr. Brosco-Dax’s research is:
If you are a person who likes to collect cardboard boxes and subsequently use them to store all your personal items, continue to do so knowing full well that you are amongst the smartest people in your community.
If saving cardboard boxes and eventually using them to get all your things organized is not your cup of tea, consider starting to follow in the footsteps of those who do, so as to at least give the outward appearance that you possess a high IQ.
If there is someone at your workplace who is constantly wanting to save boxes, begin to think of this person as one of the smarter ones in your group, and possibly ask that person to mentor you so that you can begin to follow them down the path of wisdom.
Ironically, all the letters in Debra Brosco-Dax can be re-organized to spell: Cardboard Boxes!
Box Elder, SD – Rather than pay exorbitant airfare prices for seats that are getting smaller by the day, one South Dakota man had a creative and relatively inexpensive way of getting himself to Puerto Vallarta.
Declan Morgans decided it would be ten times cheaper to mail himself to Mexico in a cardboard box rather than pay some airline to box him into tight seating not unlike sardines in a can.
Once he arrived at his destination and became unboxed, Declan simply did a few stretches and then headed to the nearest margarita for some automatic attitude adjustment.
Statistics show that more and more people are either mailing themselves or their kids and pets to destinations heretofore only traveled to by conventional modes of transportation.
What do you think about this? Would you travel in a cardboard box to distant lands? Do you think airlines passenger seats are becoming too small and too densely packed together? Does a margarita sound real good to you right about now?
Chocolate Valley, Mars – As many scientists have long suspected, the planet Mars has been discovered to have large amounts of chocolate on its surface.
Kudoto Kimikuku, Chief Chocolate Research Scientist for NASA says: “Large rivers of rich dark chocolate have been found flowing on Mars much like the heavy sledge of a BP oil slick.”
Now that the presence of chocolate has been confirmed on Mars, that opens up the possibility that early pioneers traveling to Mars can survive by eating a chocolate-rich diet of cookies, cake, and candies.
If you are interested in signing up to win a free trip to Mars, simply email the FM Observer, explaining in 500 words or less how much you love chocolate and why you should be chosen to make the short jaunt to our neighboring chocolate planet.