Tag Archives: fox

The Great Musk Ox Migration To Come Directly Through The Fargo Area

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Wear an anti-musk mask to avoid being overcome by the pungent odor from the beastly migrating oxen.

Fargo, ND – While North Dakota is still dealing with the Covid crisis, it will soon also have to contend with a Bovid crisis.

Thousands of musk ox from the Bovid family of large hoofed mammals will soon be doing their annual migration.

Because of climate change, this year’s route is going to bring an extremely large group of the strong musk-smelling animals through the Fargo area.

Authorities are recommending that the public wear masks when outside due to the powerful musky odor emitted by the males who are trying to attract females.

Because some of the animals weigh almost 900 pounds, people are also asked to quarantine during the times that the musk ox migration is moving through our region.

In summary, because of the Bovid migration, either shelter in place (in small groups) to stay safe, or if you must go out for beer, wear a mask to maximize your herd immunity to the strong musky smell and minimize your chances of being overcome by the intense Bovidian odor.

Sales Exec Serves As Lookout During Illicit Video Playback

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Picture courtesy of Getty Images and FOX’s new movie, Unfinished Business, in theaters March 6th

If you want to have childish fun at work, you better make sure you don’t get caught. That’s the risk you take when you watch fail vids and barf vids during business hours.

In order to combat this risk, you need to take the proper precautions.

Sales executive Dan Trunkman was given the hefty responsibility of keeping an eye on the hallway as they all watched a hilarious barf video on YouTube. “One of us needs to serve as lookout while we watch. Dan, it’s your turn,” said lead marketing analyst Shalli McSkeetle.

“There’s a lot on the line here. If anyone catches us watching this video, we’re in deep shit,” Dan says. “I can keep my right eye on the barf vid and at the same time, keep my left eye on the hallway. It’s an invaluable skill, my man.”

Dan went on to say that he’s honing his lookout skills for this year’s March Madness tournament. He’s expected to be on hallway lookout for two straight days while the gang watches basketball online.

Phone Call Bails Area Man Out Of Face-to-Face Conversation

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Picture courtesy of Getty Images and FOX’s new movie, Unfinished Business, in theaters March 6th

The awkward drudgery of interpersonal small talk was brought to an abrupt halt today for one area man. Mike Pancake was nearly out of things to talk about with his rambling co-worker Randy when the gods finally smiled upon him: His phone rang.

Mike could hardly contain his joy as he felt the vibration in his pocket. “Excuse me, Randy, I have to take this,” he explained as Randy’s incessant mutterings trailed off.

“Dude, you freaking saved me. I was about to pull Randy’s face off like Geena Davis did to hers in Beetlejuice,” said Mike to his savior, while a sullen Randy stared off into space.

“I swear if you get within 8 feet of Randy’s desk, you get sucked into a weird conversation every time. He’s like a human black hole.”

FOX finishes production on zany “Bachelor”-themed reality show

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Los Angeles, CA—FOX Broadcasting Company has officially declared it’s ready to compete for a share of the desperate female viewer demographic. Executives noted they have completed filming for a sensational new show titled, The Singleton.

In a press release this morning, FOX representatives indicated they’ve wrapped the first 5 seasons of their new Bachelor-themed reality dating program. Why did they secretly knock down five seasons at once, you might ask? Read for yourself:

“The Singleton – A scintillating new dating reality show is coming to FOX. The Singleton will feature a single male alongside 12 would-be mates vying for his love. But there’s a catch: Six of the contestants are women and the other six are—unbeknownst to the male—post-op transvestites! Who will our singleton pick? Will he pick a woman? Or will he pick a wo-MAN?! It’s The Mole meets The Bachelor, coming to FOX this fall! Check your local listings.”

The show’s narrative will provide the viewer with knowledge of who is who, so thankfully we won’t be left in the dark. How exciting! Finally a dating reality show worth watching; one in which the male could end up with a cleverly-disguised RuPaul. This show is poised to teach us a great deal about what personality means to overall sexual attraction.

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FOX Cancels 28 Shows To Make Room For Two And A Half Men Reruns

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Los Angeles, CA—The brain trust at FOX Broadcasting Company has been busy reworking their primetime television show lineup. A total of 28 nighttime sitcoms have met the chopping block in a space-clearing effort as more Two and a Half Men reruns make their way to syndication.

Among the canceled titles were these popular shows:

  • Mortuary-Scene-Automaton-InteriorTwo Franks, One Amy and a Mortuary – This ill-advised “Two Guys, One Girl and a Pizza Place” spinoff was dead before it arrived (which could be why it was set in a mortuary).
  • chrisChris, The Upwards-Walking Clydesdale – America just wasn’t ready for a rip-roaring sitcom about a talking horse who walked on his two hind legs  😐
  • realtyRealty Check – What do you get when you put cameras inside a realtor’s office, an office in which much of the staff is usually not present due to their busy off-site schedules? Evidently, you get a poorly-conceived ripoff of “The Office”.
  • jaredMy Hair Friend – Take a journey through the life and times of Jared, a jovial-yet-psychotic man who hoarded all his haircut clippings, face shavings and manscapings to create with them a life-sized version of himself. Spoiler alert: The journey ends in the FOX tv show graveyard.

These gems didn’t hold their luster with FOX executives, who know how to cash in on syndicated reruns. Let’s hope cult classic My Hair Friend shows up on Netflix really, really soon.

KVRR Fox of Fargo-Moorhead Weather Reporter Says What?

KVRR Fox of Fargo-Moorhead Weather Reporter Says What?

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Fargo, ND – Imagination time.

Late one evening I was sitting on my couch completely nude, besides my long white socks, and enjoying a nice warm cup of tea.  I was hours into reviewing quantum mechanics equations (I do this for my own amusement) and wondering when I should tell the world that I built a working time machine.

In between these thoughts I decided to take a small break from solving world problems, one time travel trip at a time, and it was then I turned the channel to KVRR FOX of Fargo-Moorhead to check the weather.  Right at that moment I stumbled upon the weatherman mispronouncing the city of “Cut Bank.”  Now to my ears it sounds like he is about to say “Cum Bank” but the call is entirely up to you.  Seems the weatherman had other things on his mind?