Tag Archives: man on the street

FMO Asking: How Safe Do You Feel In North Fargo?

FM Observer’s Man-On-The-Street wants to know what you think!

Fargo, ND After Fargo’s mayor firmly declared the city to be safe despite some recent fatalities just North of the downtown area, our FM Observer’s man-on-the-street went out to ask some locals living in that area of town the following simple question:

Question: How safe do you feel in your North Fargo neighborhood?

Here are some of the answers we got:

I feel as safe as caged pigeons in the basement of a Chinese restaurant.

I feel as safe as a young baseball fan sitting in the foul ball section of a Cubs game.

I feel as safe as a French cathedral while restoration workers have a smoke break.

I feel as safe as American tourists vacationing in the Dominican Republic.

I feel as safe as an afternoon clerk at a Howard Johnson’s Inn.

I feel as safe as private insurance companies during a Bernie Sander’s rally.

I feel as safe as a typo in a document about to be spell-checked.

I feel as safe as a bottle rocket in a match factory.

I feel as safe as an African lion within sight of a Minneapolis dentist.

I feel as safe as a case of ice-cold beer at We Fest.

I feel as safe as the owner of a Texas BBQ food truck.

Man-On-The-Street Checking The ZeitGeist

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Checking the Zeitgeist out on the streets of Fargo, North Dakota

Fargo, ND – Our man Jay Hazer is back out on the streets of Fargo once again to check the Zeitgeist of what’s happening in the Fargo area and how real local folks are feeling these days.

Jay Hazer: Scuze me, how do you feel about the Zeitgeist?

Man #1: What the hell are you talking about? And get this fracking microphone out of my mouth before I clock you!

Jay Hazer: Hello, my name’s Jay Hazer. How’s the Zeitgeist…in your opinion?

Grandma #2: Oh, is that that new green car my son was wanting me to buy?

Jay Hazer: Zeitgeist! What do you think about its current state?

Cop #3: Sir, I’m going to have to ask you for your ID please.

Jay Hazer: Mind if I ask you your feelings on today’s Zeitgeist?

Priest #4: Well, they’re not good. God tells me that at this rate, we’re all going to hell.

Jay Hazer: Excuse me…Hi, I’m asking people about the Zeitgeist.

Child #5: My Hatchimal didn’t work right. Can you help me fix my Hatchimal?

Jay Hazer: Man-on-the-street here. Just wondering what you think about the Zeitgeist?

Zen Monk #6: The wind blows. A dog barks. Distance train heading for an explosive crash.

Top 10 Responses To FMO’s Man-On-The-Street Question: What If The Unthinkable Happens?

FMO's Man-On-The-Street wants to know what you think!

FMO’s Man-On-The-Street wants to know what U think!

Fargo, ND – Our main man, Peter Quisling, is back out on the unswept sidewalks of the infamous Downtown Fargo, asking random people his most interesting Question-of-the-Day: What if the unthinkable happens?

After gathering hundreds of answers, Peter has compiled his Top Ten List of responses to the question:

What if…the Unthinkable happens?!

10. I would rather not think about it.

9. Excuse me, but do we know each other?

8. If Trump got elected, I’d move back to Cuba.

7. This is why I always keep extra Xanax on hand.

6. Honestly, I would probably go get an abortion.

5. Is this some sort of joke? Where’s the camera?

4. My family and I would most likely move to Vergas.

3. Isn’t this why we all have insurance coverage?!

2. I still think Hillary could be president from prison.

1. My answer is two simple words: Panic Room.