Tag Archives: mountain

Next Olympic Winter Games To Be Held In Fargo, North Dakota

The new F-M Curling Club was the deciding factor to have the next Winter Olympic Games in Fargo.

Fargo, ND – The city of Fargo has been abuzz ever since the International Olympic Committee announced that Fargo, North Dakota will host the next Winter Games.

When Fargo first bid for the Winter Olympic Games, most people ridiculed the idea as fake news, and laughed until they cried.

It turns out that in Fargo, the I.O.C. found everything it was looking for in a Winter Games host city.

From their official announcement statement: “Fargo, North Dakota is a paragon-perfect poster-child place that can host the next Winter Games cost-effectively, logically, efficiently, and safely. Plus, Fargo has a lot of fine restaurants and places to drink mass quantities of bier.”

One insider leaked that Fargo’s new, state-of-the-art Curling Club was one of the main reasons Fargo was chosen to host the next Winter Olympix, since curling has now become the #1 favorite spectator event of The Winter Games.

During this leak, the leaker also mentioned that the only real thing Fargo will have to do to prepare for The Games is create some good-sized mountains, possibly from all the dirt that will soon be excavated for the Red River Diversion.

Trump Names Bali Volcano, Mt. Agung, As New Top Advisor

Mt. Agung: nice ash!

Washington, D.C. – After losing a number of top advisors in recent weeks, President Trump filled one of the vacant slots with a highly unusual appointment today. Mt. Agung, the active volcano currently erupting in Bali, has been named as his newest high-ranking cabinet member.

“I have a wonderful, beautiful, special relationship with Mt. Agung. That volcano is really, really smart, it’s got amazing ideas, you’ve never heard ideas like these…the best…and it’s going to be a great thing for our country, America, which is a great country, but it could be better, but now it will be better, like way way better,” Trump exclaimed earlier today.

Asked what he was thinking by naming a volcano as a top advisor, President Trump said, “Mt. Agung is yuge and strong, like really strong, and really yuge. Plus it’s a volcano, which is amazing…it’s got the best eruptions in the world, the hottest lava, its ash is the best ash I’ve ever seen…everyone is going to love it, and I mean love it bigly.”

White House staffers had no comment, but insiders tell the FM Observer that they are “drinking heavily” and “mostly just praying”.

New Detroit Mountain Recreation Area Offers Fun For Everyone

caption here

Hopefully the new Detroit Mountain Recreation Area will get some snow despite Global Warming.

Detroit Lakes, MN – The New Detroit Mountain Recreation Area is well on track for its big grand re-opening this month.

This brand new four-season fun park will offer a wide range of great activities and challenges for all ages.

Skiers and snowboarders will have their hands full with two Black Diamond runs that would give Franz Klammer a run for his money.

The Rental Shoppe will include everything from snow skis to snowboards to Go-Pro cameras to record your thrilling adventures.

Kids can race down the Bunny Hill along side Elmo and all their other favorite Sesame Street characters.

The Viking Lodge will have multiple large flat-screen TVs showing past and present Minnesota Vikings football games, including their four Super Bowl losses.

Double-decker shuttle buses will be continuously running from Detroit Mountain to the local Walmart store for easy shopping, to the Shooting Star Casino for easy gambling, and to the local hospital for easy repairs.

If you would like to join the sexy all-volunteer Ski Patrol Team, please email Tony at Detroit Mountain and include a YouTube link of yourself successfully negotiating any Black Diamond ski run.