Tag Archives: photography

Mall Santa Resigns After Multiple Accusations Of Groping

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Santa is asking his attorney: “Since when did groping become so politically incorrect?” Santa’s also wondering: “Why doesn’t anyone want to come near me?”

Fargo, ND – One of the real fake Santas at a well-known local Fargo shopping mall has resigned amid numerous accusations of groping any women within a “reasonable groping distance”.

Some disgusted mothers and dejected helper-elves have filed complaints to the North Pole that Santa has been groping some of these adult women during official mall photos, and even during some of Santa’s own selfies and elfies.

Renta Santa, the company from whence the mall allegedly hired this Santa, has denied any legal culpability but did say that this particular Santa had once been a Minnesota state senator who had left the arena of politics due to some “inappropriate sexual behavior”.

A linguistics expert that we consulted with said that the term “Mall” will soon no longer be politically correct because it is homonymistically so very similar to the word “Maul”.

BigFoot Spotted Wandering Around Just Outside Of Moorhead

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This incredible image of BigFoot was recently snapped by an amateur photographer just outside of Moorhead.

This incredible image of BigFoot was recently snapped by an amateur photographer named Darko Revkian just outside the quirky town of Moorhead, Minisoda.

Moorhead, MN – One of our trained spotters who was out doing some bird watching recently got what is believed to be the best picture ever of The BigFoot.

Darko Revkian and his camera were in search of a pileated woodpecker’s nest when he noticed a large creature walking towards an outhouse.

Darko: “All my photography training immediately kicked in and I somehow took a perfect picture of what now is believed to be the actual BigFoot.”

BigFoot experts think that the beast might be en route to Canada in the wake of Donald Trump’s successful bid for the White House.

In the meantime, Moorhead authorities are telling residents to shelter in place until the “All Clear” notification is given that The BigFoot is no longer wandering around the area.

UFO Spotted Within Fargo City Limits

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This UFO was seen hovering in many Fargo underpasses this last weekend.

This UFO was seen hovering in many Fargo underpasses this last weekend.

Fargo, ND – “If seeing is believing, then you can believe this one!”, said NDSU Ufologist Donald Parkins who captured this amazing unidentified flying object on special digital camera equipment.

The clear image of this green and yellow UFO was taken at about 2:15 AM on Sunday morning near West Acres.

Dr. Parkins: “Its lights were sometimes on and sometimes blinking but always the same Bison colours and it moved like a large bumblebee trapped in a garage.”

As we have come to learn, Fargo is a hotbed of UFO activity which usually coincides near a full moon.

Since the FM Observer practically majored in UFOs, please send any pictures you may have taken of the flying mysteries to us for public dissemination after we have a chance to analyze them with expensive specially-designed equipment at our spacious corporate headquarters.

In the meantime, we advise that you avoid the West Acres area late at night unless you want to have a personal encounter with a UFO.

Fotos By Fritz The Cat Opens In Moorhead

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Photography by Fritz The Cat

Photography by Fritz The Cat

Moorhead, MN – A new business is finally coming to the quirky town of Moorhead.

Fotos by Fritz the Cat will be opening its doors this week at the sight of the old Ralph’s bar on Main Avenue, just across the river in downtown Moorhead.

Frankly, Fritz admits to being an illegal alien cat who snuck into town via Lutheran Social Services.

Fritz began taking pictures when still just a small kitten back in his home province of Catmandu, in the mountainous country of Nipel, after being given a camera by the Dolly Llama.

Now, Fritz the Cat would like to serve the off-beat town of Moorhead with his photography skills.

His specialties are weddings, funerals, family pictures, graduations, mugshots, retirements, births, bar mitzvahs, accidents, and circumcisions.

To schedule a shooting, Fritz recommends contacting his wife, Miss Kitty.

If you mention the FM Observer, you will receive a 50% discount off of the normally inflated price due to Obamacare.

Father Of Modern Photography Coming To Fargo

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First picture ever taken by Andre Kertesz which he later colorized with colored pencils.

Fargo, ND – The Fargo-Moorhead Photography Club is excited to announce that Mr. Andre Kertesz who many consider to be the Father of Modern Photography will be coming to the Fargo-Moorhead area to do a photography workshop free-of-charge for the first 500 interested people who respond to this post.

This very special workshop will be held poolside (along with a cash bar) at the Biltmore Motel which is where the lovely Raquel Welch who many consider to be the Mother of Modern Photography chose to stay when visiting Fargo.

Andre Kertesz taught us to think of the camera as a tool through which we can capture a subject’s essence or the main reason why something exists.

Mr. Kertesz believed that in a random world the camera can give reason to everything around us which is how he felt after doing a black and white photo shoot with the ever-beautiful Raquel Welch whom he went on to marry and then subsequently divorce due to irreconcilable differences.

If you would like to join the Fargo-Moorhead Photography Club, simply call Mr. Marv Varvruncle at his home anytime day or night except Sundays.