Tag Archives: puppy

Sign Up To Join The FMO Birthday Club For Only $100

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For a mere $100, you will enjoy all the perks of being a proud member of the FMO Birthday Club.

West Fargo, ND – Are you a person who has a birthday and who likes to have fun? Have you been looking for a way to make perfunctory birthdays more functory?

May we suggest that you join the FM Observer Birthday Club by sending us all of your personal identifying information, along with $100 for shipping and handling.

From there, the possibilities are endless!

On or near your birthday, you may receive a personal call or visit from The Pope who might even give you a free rosary, and show you different cool things you can do with it!

We may do a satirically fake-news post about you on our website and unleash it to go viral in South Dakota!

You possibly could get any number of hot pizzas delivered to your current GPS location and/or multiple singing telegrams by entire robed church choirs!

Your name might be entered into a drawing to travel with us to Goosey Goosey Island for an endless bonfire weekend where you may be taught our secret double handshake and possibly be given your very own emergency whistle.

By joining the FMO Birthday Club for only $100, you could maybe win a lifetime supply of some random items selected especially for you.

Finally, for any new and fully-paid members to the FMO Birthday Club, you will not only be invited to go to the Humane Society and select yourself a free puppy, but you will also get to name it and keep it for the rest of your lives!

The New Rage Is Having A Purse Puppy

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To be cool, you need a Purse Puppy!

Pursglove, WV – Fashion trenders are strongly pointing to Purse Puppies as the latest in the super hip new thing for 2018.

“If you want to be cutting-edge cool this year, you definitely need a Purse Puppy!” says Manon Gadbois of Trend Magazine.

Fact #1: Everyone agrees that the person walking through the airport with a Purse Puppy is who everyone is looking at.

Fact #2: No one disagrees that the coolest thing in the world is having a Puppy in your Purse.

Warning: 2018 is the year of the Purse Puppy, so you better Puppy Up, or be square with a non-puppied purse.

Fargo Man Arrested For Leaving Dog Outside Too Long

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Shih Tzu puppy named Pixy is the latest casualty in the War On Global Cooling.

Fargo, ND – The good news is: that Mr. Dorf Gonez got a cute little new Shih Tzu puppy for his family as a Christmas present.

The bad news is: that Mr. Dorf Gonez forgot that their new little Pixy was tied up outside while Dorf got lost playing his new video games.

When his wife finally asked “Hay, where the hell is Pixy?”, Mr. Dorf Gonez went outside to find their new Shih Tzu puppy all frozen up like an ice cube tray in a freezer set to the coldest possible setting.

The Fargo Criminal Canine Task Force showed up shortly after that to arrest Mr. Dorf Gonez for gross aggravated negligence.

Sadly, all the letters in Dorf Gonez can be coldly re-arranged to spell: Frozen Dog!

May Is Take-Your-Pet-Water-Skiing Month

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Good times begin NOW!

Detroit Lakes, MN – With global warming moving into Minnesota lakes country, dogs and cats all across the region are excitedly anticipating hitting the water for some seriously fun water sports.

Your FM Observer is unofficially declaring that May is officially National Take-Your-Pet-Water-Skiing Month.

What puppy or kitten would not want to be dragged around a lake behind a boat to show the rest of the world that they have arrived?

Never mind the fact that the frigid water is only about 40 degrees because pets are warm-blooded meaning they were essentially designed for this type of activity.

Please send us photos of your proud pets showing off their lake-patrolling party prowess for a chance to win free a free meal at the brand new All-It-Can-Eat Pet Buffet House.