BREAKING: Doctors find 9th unborn fetus inside Octomom

May 3rd, 2012 | by Nick

4063689470_7789d77f11_bLos Angeles, CA – During a routine check-up at the local OBGYN, excavators discovered a lifeless unborn fetus stuck inside famously inseminated degenerate Nadya Suleman, also known as Octomom. A visit to the gyno is no picnic for Octomom, as a team of doctors wearing HAZMAT suits and spelunking gear is needed to perform even the most simple and routine Octomaintenance.

Doctors went exploring recently and made a shocking discovery: a 9th baby. It appears that not all the children were harvested from the Octocave! Miss Suleman was, needless to say, shocked and dismayed at the discovery.

We caught up with one of the fearless spelunkers/Doctors to get some insight as to what went on:

“The vaginal walls were very dry. It was rank. The HAZMAT suit I wore was an older one, so some of the stench made its way in almost immediately, but I pressed on. We needed to check the ovaries and such. After about a half hour of exploration, the 3 other doctors and I caught a glimpse of something highly unorthodox in the deepest corner of the uterus. That’s when we knew…”

This has all the makings of a terrifying sequel to the smash hit movie The Abyss. Never before has the Observer heard such a shocking tale of discovery. This has to be an emotional time for Suleman, who is now rumored to be changing her nickname to Nonomom. We wish Nonomom all the best.


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