Fargo, ND – It is Clean Up week around the Fargo-Moorhead area or the Scavengers Super Bowl other people call it.
This week, thousands of people will throw various filthy piles of shit they have been hording in their house out on the curbside. Fargo street crew workers have their work cut out for them. Sifting through bed bug ridden, piss stained bed mattresses, dog shit, super aids, and even more super aids, these sorry bastards deserve more pay for the week.
Along with the filth people throw out, there are a number of strange items the Fargo street crews have come across.
One worker came across an actual full-blooded breathing human. It seems the husband put the wife out on the curb hoping a passing scavenger will pick her up.
Some other items found are:
The Constitution. Found on the boulevard of a state representative. “We don’t need this shit” he said.
Expired Breast Implants
Various children. Presumably annoying brats.
Super AIDS as mentioned before. It be everywhere.
Illegal Mexican Immigrant
Pathetically Deflated Blow-up Doll
Broken Sex Swing
Balloon animals in the shape of Kanye West
Small Wedding Chappel
Inflatable Bondage Chair
Clean up crews are asking that you keep your piles of shit to a minimum. One neighbor is reporting that his dirty filthy neighbor has already consumed 5 neighbors boulevards with his crap.