I Only Speak Ecard Now.

April 5th, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller

You’ve seen them.  You’ve probably posted one, two, or twelve hundred.  Ecards are the new scourge of facebook.

Everyone’s original thoughts have now finally gone the way of the dodo bird.  Intellectual thinking has vanished.  Poof.  Gone.  It seems everyone I know now only speaks in ecards now.

It goes like this: One wakes up in the morning, logs onto facebook and thinks, “man..I gotta post something deep and inspirational.”  They then proceed to comb facebook for an ecard that relates to something they are thinking so they can share this deep moment.  They don’t find anything so they visit the ecard website.  After careful consideration they share an ecard on facebook.

Live Long Enough To Shit

Perfect.  Now your friends are hopefully inspired for the rest of the morning.  You can finally continue on with the day.

Moving on, you head to work.  Having to deal with dumbass coworkers is hell.  We all know that.  What better way to express your outrage than an ecard.  No need to talk here.  Let’s ecard it!  Combing facebook you see a friend posted an ecard you agree with.  How can it be?  Is this person experiencing the same workplace crap that you are?  We are so alike! I must share.

I Wish You Were As Productive As Your Rectum Is

Great, great.  Now that that is out of your system it’s time for a break.  Wait, you’re feeling goofy so you head into the bathroom where you can’t be bothered and share something funny.  You must only show it in ecard form as that is the only way your friends can understand you now.

*combing the ecard website

Ahh perfect.  You found one.  Just what you were thinking.  *Share

i_just_want_you_to_know_that_amish_you

Hahaha.  You pat yourself on the back because you made a funny.  You realize you haven’t talked to a soul yet today and that’s fantastic and completely normal.

 

Alright! Work is done and you’re at home.  There you are sitting on your patio alone.  Not sure why.  You realize you better ecard what it’s like to be you right now on your patio.  There has to be an ecard for it.  Yes!  Indeed there is!

outdoorsy-getting-flirting-ecard-someecards

 

Your husband tells you to come in.  You don’t speak to your husband anymore either.  You only ecard him.  So, you pull up your computer and BAM!  You ecard him your thoughts.

Dinner Party Event Ecard

You huddle into your room to watch Honey Boo Boo that you had previously recorded while your husband is probably thinking about divorcing you.

 

So there you have it.  A day in the life of a human being in the year 2013 where ecards through facebook have become the new means of communication.

 

Don’t speak it!  Ecard it!

Dont Speak it.  Ecard it.


The following two tabs change content below.

Cody Marthaller

I'm biologically human. Full-Time Superhero. Part-Time Human.