Minnesota Raising Legal Cigarette Smoking Age To Fifty

September 1st, 2017 | by Johnnny

Minnesota’s new minimum age to smoke cigarettes is now 50.

St. Paul, MN – In what many consider to be a bold move, Minnesota is upping the minimum legal age to smoke cigarettes to fifty (50).

Yes, we believe this is the right thing to do, so this is the reason why we are doing what we are doing, says Geier Stockmaster, who authored the bill.

Studies have shown that people who wait until age 50 to start smoking cigarettes increase their chances of living to age 65 by a factor of 10 (assuming they don’t get rear-ended by a distracted driver travelling at 50 mph).

How do you feel about Minnesota’s new minimum age to smoke?

How would you feel if the minimum wage was $50 per hour?

How would you like free Dilly Bars for the rest of your life?

Ironically, all the letters in Geier Stockmaster can be re-arranged to spell: Cigarette Smokers!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.