February 25th, 2020 | by
Johnnny Footville, Wisconsin – Experts have come up with a new and easy way to determine one’s general overall health. Pounds per vertical foot is the new way to measure and judge how near or far a person is from the ideal...
September 1st, 2017 | by
Johnnny St. Paul, MN – In what many consider to be a bold move, Minnesota is upping the minimum legal age to smoke cigarettes to fifty (50). “Yes, we believe this is the right thing to do, so this is the reason why we are...
April 9th, 2017 | by
Johnnny Jackpot, Nevada – A new comprehensive study by casinos shows that there are numerous health benefits associated with playing slot machines. Essentially, the more time spent playing slot machines, the healthier (and...
October 24th, 2014 | by
Cody Marthaller After keeping the diagnosis under wraps for nearly a decade the NFL finally told Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning he has Tourette’s syndrome. The league’s biggest secret was first discovered in 2005 when...
October 6th, 2014 | by
Cody Marthaller Roseville, MN — Students of Gretta Jurcak’s sixth period math class exchanged eye-rolls as classmate Andy Struum sniffled his runny nose for nearly an hour. Struum’s snorting began midway through third period...
August 19th, 2014 | by
Cody Marthaller After years of financial prosperity, citizens of Edina, Minn. are worried their flatulence is failing to produce any odor. Edina, an inner-ring suburb of Minneapolis, is among the wealthiest cities in Minnesota with a median...
