Recounts Show That Jill Stein Won The Election

January 10th, 2017 | by Johnnny

President-Elect Jill Stein shown here visiting Disneyland after narrowly winning the election.

Steinsville, Pennsylvania – Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein has finally finished doing her own vote recount in Wisconsin, Michigan and Pennsylvania.

Based on her new final count vote totals, she is declaring that she won the election fair and square, narrowly beating out both Donald’s Trump and Hillary’s Clinton.

Ms. Stein is being congratulated by many in her Green Party who knew she had what it took to win the election.

Some think that a major turning point for her campaign was when she got arrested and charged with criminal trespass and criminal mischief during the Dakota Access Pipeline protest out there in western North Dakota.

President-Elect Stein is now expected to quickly name her cabinet members and then get ready for her upcoming inaugaration.

We caught up with Jill to ask her how it felt to have won the election.

Speaking in tongues, Jill Stein’s answer was: “Я очень рад, что выиграл выборы.”


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.