THIS GUY lives in L.A.

Los Angeles, CA—SoCal. L.A. Paradise City. The coolest city with the coolest people with the best weather. You gotta be a badass, actor, musician, beautiful person or an otherwise famous celebrity to live there…or so we thought.

The age-old stereotype that only cool people live in Los Angeles has been officially debunked. The Observer has learned that Alan Henley, a lame, has been living in SoCal his entire life.

Alan was born an only child to an accountant and a stay-at-home mother back in 1978. Ever since, he’s been an introverted, non-famous Average Joe. “I think i’m pretty normal,” Alan says. He works as a stockbroker at a brokerage firm in Santa Monica where he grew up. He plays World of Warcraft in his spare time. “I mean, i’m no Brad Pitt obviously, but…so what?”

The Observer suspects that Alan might not be the only rube hilariously coexisting within that sexy hotbed of entertainment and glamour.

A Los Angeles Elite could not be reached for comment.