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New UND Nickname And Logo Soon Announced: The Sundogs!

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New UND Sundog Logo

The New UND Sundog Logo

Grand Forks, ND – With the Fighting Sioux nickname found to be too politically incorrect and the top vote-getter “North Dakota” being thrown out by The Committee, it looks like those with the power to decide are leaning toward: The Sundogs!

Since the term “Sundog” has so much meaning and history associated with the University of North Dakota, it seems like the obvious logical best choice.

“The UND sports teams are bright spots on the halo surrounding the University as are Sundogs around the Sun,” says one anonymous committee member who has no past association with UND in any way.

Ironically, another committee member, whose dog recently went to the vet and had a neck cone put in place to prevent it from licking its wounds, noticed that the cone looked like a beautiful sun halo around Barf’s head. “Hey, Barf looks like a Sundog!”

Early polling indicates that almost all Fighting Sioux alumni think Sundogs is a wonderful replacement name and cannot wait the for official announcement to come.

Some Rejected UND Nicknames Maybe Worth Another Look

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Sitting Bull still standing outside The Ralph

Grand Forks, ND – With the Fighting Sioux nickname being run out of town by the NCAA, the Grand Forks Herald recently made available the list of all the submitted alternative nicknames for UND.

Some of the ideas that were submitted are being considered to be finalists, and naturally, some are not. Let’s face it: not every one can be a winner.

Here is a list of the Top 20 nickname ideas submitted by sports fans which the FM Observer feels are the best ones NOT making the cut. Let’s call these the Best-of-the-Worst! They are in no particular order and followed by the fan’s explanation.

TOP 20 BEST-OF-THE-WORST UND NEW NICKNAMES:

Alcoholics Anonymous: We can share our love of alcohol with the entire community while inspiring the area to get past any problems with alcohol.

Flying Squirrels: Have you ever walked on campus? They are everywhere!

Fricking Frackers: It’s obvious. ND was headed for oblivion and then came the fracking energy boom. Fracking is paying the bills. The mascot could be the poison symbol found on toxins. Would be uniquely North Dakotan. Very catchy!

Emergency Room Werewolves: Honors the medical school while adopting a mascot which will not offend any group.

Libtards: Because Libtard Assfuckery has cost the people of ND millions so far. Why not more?

Jackalopes: The fictitious animal lobby is not very strong so this nickname should stand for a while.

Fighting Asparagus: Because UND is green and asparagus can inspire the fans. Veggies are good.

Choke Artists: Every year they can’t win a title.

Saltine Crackers: Mild, white, and underwhelming, this name aptly embodies the culture of the university.

Fighting Attorneys: UND has a great law school and students can chant Sue! Sue! Sue!

Drunk Fighting Racists: Perfectly encapsulates ALL North Dakota fans as well as being a throwback to the old Fighting Sioux nickname you insensitive assholes.

SmallPox: Because it killed the Sioux.

Zombies from UNDead: Zombies are really “IN” right now. The mascot/nickname would be EPIC!

Road Conditions: First listing when I Googled: “North Dakota”.

Land Sharks: Sharks are noble animals that defend their home territory with vigor. They don’t make sense on the Great Plains so the “Land” is added.

Moderate Muslims: Not a real thing so no one can claim offense.

Wood Ticks: How ticked off would a wood tick get if a wood tick would get ticked?

Here are a few extra submissions that apparently needed no explanation:
Backdoor Lumberjacks
Feral Farmers
Puck Sluts

LEAKED: New University of North Dakota Team Logo/Nickname

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University of North Dakota Fighting Sperm Whales

University of North Dakota Fighting Sperm Whales

Grand Forks, ND—Sources have confirmed the existence of a newly revamped UND sports team jersey! This photo, leaked by an insider at the University of North Dakota, shows a rough depiction of a team hockey jersey embroidered with the word SPERM and what appears to be a giant sperm whale.

Team executives have been working in conjunction with the NCAA to implement a new, contemporary, non-offensive nickname for the University. It looks like they’ve hit a home run here.

While this leaves virtually nothing to the imagination, we still have to speculate whether or not the next UND team nickname will be the Fighting Sperm Whales. All things considered, the whale species pictured is definitely a sperm whale, and the lettering above the whale is absolutely S-P-E-R-M.

This being said, sports team broadcast announcers are said to be working feverishly on new in-game catch phrases:

  • “Sperm slam it home!”
  • “That’s a whale of sperm!”
  • “Spermtastic!”
  • “Sperm gonna getcha!”
  • “When a man and a woman love each other very much…”
  • “Sperm found the egg! It’s all over!”

Locals are excited to finally have a nickname for their beloved team.

UND hockey fan Sandra Crabapple:

“Sperm whales? Cool! That’s not offensive or gross at all.”

UND football fan Terry Noisewater:

“I can’t wait to yell about sperm during games!”

While there is no timetable for the return of a team nickname and logo, this new evidence suggests we will be screaming the name of the mighty sperm whale sooner rather than later.