Tag Archives: indians

Indian Summer Celebrated By Many Even Though It’s No Longer Politically Correct

Indian Summer is one last chance to enjoy summer and prepare for winter.

Summerset, SD – It’s what many in our area have long been waiting and hoping for, and now it’s finally arriving: Indian Summer!

For any employed workers who are lucky enough to have some extra vacation days, it’s a chance to get some final sun on one’s face while perhaps sipping an adult beverage out on the deck.

After we’ve already had a killing frost (and a winter storm), it’s one final time to breathe the last of the warm summer air before heading into the long and dark cold winter months.

The old politically incorrect name for it is Indian Summer while the new hip PC term is now Global Warming.

Indian Summer originally got its name from an old 1919 song by Victor Herbert which helped remind the Indians to get out and add some extra layers of warmth to the outside of their teepees while doing their good-bye dance to summer and happily celebrating a temporary postponement of winter.

Today, it’s more of a chance to tidy up the hoses, get down the snow shovels, put up your Christmas lights, and for street crews to quickly finish up all those road construction projects.

Man Raised By Buffalo Running For Congress

Joe Tatanka is going to Washington to literally drain the swamp.

Buffalo, ND – After being raised by a large family of buffalo as a young child, a North Dakota man is ready to represent his state in Washington, DC.

Joe Tatanka, who now wallows in the town of Buffalo, North Dakota, believes it is now his turn to fix big government by bringing old-fashioned common sense back to our nation’s capitol.

Joe Tatanka in his own words: “As a strong and horny buffalo man, I am more than ready to charge towards Washington and fight for the values taught to me by my buffalo family members.”

Mr. Tatanka will also use time-tested buffalo tactics such as 1. standing your ground, 2. huddling up for protection, and 3. attack by stampeding to reflect North Dakota’s legendary morals and standards.

Learn To Count Just Like Indians

IndianCommandmentsx2Lakota, Dakota – Besides being your ever-reliable source for the latest in serious satirical fake news journalism, the FM Observer can also be a powerful free educational tool for many who seek to continuously expand their brainpower.

Today’s free educational offering combines learning a Native American language, along with some basic numerology. At the end of this exciting lesson, you will be able to fluently speak the numbers 1 through 10 in the original Dakota Sioux native tongue.

Please note: Once you have committed these new terms to memory, it is very important to use them as much as possible in your daily conversations. Feel free to make flashcards and test yourself, or ask a complete stranger to pop quiz you.

So now, without any further ado, the FM Observer proudly presents:

How to speak 1-10 in Dakota Sioux:
 1. Wanzi
2. Nonpa
3. Yamni
4. Topa
5. Zaptan
6. Sakpe
7. Sakowin
8. Sahdogan
9. Napcinwanka
10. Wikcemna

{Look for more free educational trainings from FMO in the near future. Some upcoming hot topics may include:  1. How to make toast perfectly every time,  2. What to look for while cloud gazing,  3. Twenty creative uses for your vacuum cleaner.}

Washington Redskins

Washington Redskins Name Change Contest

redskinsPX1Washington, DC – Well, it looks like the home of Political Correctness is about to get a dose of its own medicine.

The name Washington Redskins, which goes back to 1937, has now become the latest target of easily-offended language censors. What was just another famous name of a loved professional sports team has now become derogatory and racist, according to some D.C. Council members.

If the name is going to be changed, some fans are advocating keeping the “Red” and changing the “Skins”. Some of the top choices in this group are, the Washington: RedNecks, Red Meats, Red Hots, Red Eyes, Red Peppers, Red Wines, and Red Apples.

For those who would rather see the “Red” changed and keep the “Skins”, the Washington: Pigskins, Sheepskins, Buckskins, Foreskins, Coonskins and Deerskins.

Finally, there is a third group wanting the new name to still begin with “Red” and have the word “Skins”, such as the: Washington Red Skinheads, or Washington Red Potato Skins.

D.C. Council member David Grosso would love to hear from you on this issue. Feel free to call him at 202-724-8105, or you can email him at dgrosso@dccouncil.us

You can also contact either:

Muriel Bowser at 202-724-8052 (mbowser@dccouncil.us) or

Kenyan McDuffie at 202-724-8028 (kmcduffie@dccouncil.us)

who are both totally down with David’s idea of making a name change.

Let any of these fine public servants know which name you would favor as the new politically correct name for the offensive Washington Redskins. If the name you vote for is picked, you may qualify to win season tickets to see the Washington Rednecks, or perhaps the Washington Coonskins!