Tag Archives: reincarnation

Corona Virus Now Treatable With Extra Lime

Use two limes to protect yourself against the deadly Corona Virus.

Corona, SD – With another disease heading our way from China, our very own Dr. Orvin Caruso who lives and works in Corona, South Dakota is already well ahead of this new and potentially deadly virus.

Dr. Caruso first points out that the Corona Virus is a meat-eating virus since the letters in πŸ…²πŸ…ΎπŸ†πŸ…ΎπŸ…½πŸ…° πŸ†…πŸ…ΈπŸ†πŸ†„πŸ†‚ can be quickly mutated into spelling: πŸ…²πŸ…°πŸ†πŸ…½πŸ…ΈπŸ†…πŸ…ΎπŸ†πŸ…ΎπŸ†„πŸ†‚

Orv goes on to explain that since we now know that the πŸ…²πŸ…ΎπŸ†πŸ…ΎπŸ…½πŸ…° πŸ†…πŸ…ΈπŸ†πŸ†„πŸ†‚ is of the πŸ…²πŸ…°πŸ†πŸ…½πŸ…ΈπŸ†…πŸ…ΎπŸ†πŸ…ΎπŸ†„πŸ†‚ type, its spreading can be effectively quelled by using an extra lime with your Corona, like pirates did to prevent scurvy.

“Instead of one lime, simply use two,” Dr. Caruso spells out, as if we’re all back in first grade.

Amazingly, all of the letters in “Orvin Caruso” can be mutated into spelling: Corona Virus!

Fargo Family Denied Permission To Adopt Hammerhead Shark

Fargo family believes this hammerhead is their Uncle Martin, who recently drowned in the Pacific.

Fargo, ND – In an unusual story, a Fargo family who was planning on adopting a live hammerhead shark has been denied permission to do so.

Because they strongly believe that this particular full-size hammerhead shark is the reincarnation of their recently deceased Uncle Martin, they had already turned their basement into a large saltwater holding tank.

City Commissioners unanimously voted down the idea after the matter came up at their last meeting, with this comment:

“The City of Fargo is utterly dumbfounded by this request, and since we’re not in the business of crazy, we hereby deny this request for this family to adopt Uncle Hammerhead.”

What are your thoughts on this matter?