Area Drought Being Blamed On Dry Conditions And ‘Global Drying’

June 26th, 2017 | by Johnnny

Experts agree that lack of rain causing drought.

West Fargo, ND Our new staff droutologist Dr. Rod Guth has just issued his final report on the area drought.

Rod believes that short-term dry conditions coupled with the long-term Global Drying are the two main reasons for the “paucity of moisture” in the upper Midwest region.

Dr. Guth in his own words: “An earthly dearth of water seems to be because of dry conditions brought about by macro-desiccation from Global Drying.”

We asked Dr. Rod Guth: “Just how dry is it?

It is so dry that fish are carrying canteens!
It is so dry that cows are giving evaporated milk!
It is so dry that watermelon are the size of baseballs!
It is so dry that they’ve had to close two lanes at the swimming pool!

Ironically, all the letters in Rod Guth can be rearranged to spell: Drought!


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.