Hundreds of Missing Fargo Residents Found

March 23rd, 2013 | by Cody Marthaller

Fargo WeatherFargo, ND – It’s been a very cold and depressing winter season this year.

This has left hundreds of out-of-state family members worried as they haven’t heard from their loves ones who live in the Fargo tundra for quite some time.

Yesterday, neighbors all around the city have started to see their neighbors whom they haven’t seen for months, crawl, hop, roll, and gimp out of their front door unexpectedly.

One neighbor described it as something out of a horror movie.

Haven’t seen ‘ol Jim in about 4 months.  Then all of a sudden there he is in his underwear rolling himself out his front door.  Looks like he hasn’t shaved in 4 months and his underwear looked to be dirty.  He looked absolutely awful.

Jim is just one of hundreds who seem to have “hibernated” in their homes this year due to the terrible winter weather.  With warmer temperatures in the horizon, these hibernators seem to have awaken from their deep sleep.

We were able to speak to Douglas Bumble who has been hibernating in his room with five blankets and an electric heater since December 1st.  He hasn’t stepped outside since.

I don’t really know who you are but I’m hungry and I’d like to tan in the sun now please.

 

We hope they all still have their jobs and encourage them to contact their out-of-state family members as soon as they know what month it is.

The Fargo Police Department will be following up with theses hibernators and close all missing persons reports.

 


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Cody Marthaller

I'm biologically human. Full-Time Superhero. Part-Time Human.