I Was Gonna Take My Baby Off The Roof Of My Car……But Then I Got High.

June 4th, 2012 | by Bill Burns

Phoenix, AZ – Some shocking news this past week.  Catalina Clouser, 19, is facing driving and child abuse charges after her one-month-old baby fell off the roof of her car while driving away, forgetting she had put the little munchkin there.  What’s shocking is this DID NOT happen in Florida.  I know, crazy right?

Once she got home, she finally got inside and thought to herself, “the fuck is my baby?”  Upon realizing that her baby just got the ride of it’s life, she drove back to 45th Avenue and Chollas and was greeted by police who had recovered her child.  We’ve heard about people strapping their grandmothers or mother-in-laws to the roof of their cars but never a little child.  Jesus, what was she thinking!?

One lucky witness was on his way to work when he said he saw a flying baby in a car seat flying through the air.  I mean, how f’in cool would it be to see that?!  That man just won the lottery.

 

In tribute to Catalina Clouser, I have changed some of the lyrics to Afroman’s – Because I Got High song.

 

Catalina Clouser – Because I Got High

It’s Like, I don’t care about nothin man,
roll another blunt, Yea (ohh ohh ohh),

La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

I was gonna take my child off the roof of my car until I got high
I was gonna put him in the back seat but then I got high
my baby flew off the roof my car and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
– cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna try to not kill my kid before I got high
I coulda remembered I actually gave birth to a child but I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I am taking a couple hours off from parenting and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,
– cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go home with my little child but then I got high
I remembered I lefty my baby on the roof of my car but I got high
now I’m driving around looking for my baby and I know why (why man?) yea heayy,
– cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay to get my child back then I got high
they took my child away and I know why (why man?) yea heayy,
– cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kid because I got high
now I’m sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
– cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I’m gonna stop singing this song because I’m high
I’m singing this whole thing wrong because I’m high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
– cause I’m high [repeat 3X]

La da da da da da, La da da da, Shoop shooby doo wop.

Get jiggy wit it, skibbidy bee bop diddy do wahhh

– cause I’m high [repeat 3X]


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Bill grew up in one of the largest cities in the United States, Maza, North Dakota. Being a cow milker by trade, it was only after stroking thousands upon thousands of cow nipples was he able to save up enough money and move to Fargo, ND. It was here that he joined FM Observer. In his free time he enjoys carving rocking horses out of wood, healing the sick, and running marathons across oceans.