Lime Disease Traced Back To Margarita Happy Hours

March 24th, 2016 | by Johnnny
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Lime Disease linked to jumbo on-the-rocks margaritas!

Rochester, MN – At the Hellmann’s Mayo Clinic, researchers have positively linked Lime Disease to the excessive drinkage of lime-flavored margaritas.

Scientific data shows that people who consume multiple jumbo lime margaritas (usually during those discount-priced happy hours) are sixty times more likely to get Lime Disease than their non-margarita-drinking counterparts who religiously attend church choir practice.

Q: Can you still get Lime Disease if you don’t drink the jumbo lime margaritas?

A: Yes, of course you can. However, the chances of that happening are about as good as John Kasich getting to 1,237 delegates before the GOP convention.

Q: Is there anything that jumbo lime margarita drinkers can do to lessen their chances of contracting the dreaded Lime Disease?

A: No, not really, except perhaps to maybe join a church and volunteer to religiously sing in the church choir. Another tip would be to avoid attending any outdoor concerts where disease-carrying ticks might be waiting to bite into you just like someone who is hungry enough to eat a horse would bite into McDonald’s new McPony Sandwich.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.