Monkey Makes $34 Million In Stock Market From A $5 Investment

August 27th, 2019 | by Johnnny

Babu is now the richest baboon in the land.

Horace, ND – A resident baboon who’s been living with some distant relatives has apparently done what no other monkey has ever done.

Babu, an eleven year old baboon, took an online stock trading account which had been seeded by his uncle-in-law with $5.00 and somehow turned it into $34,000,000 in less than twelve months.

The monkey’s uncle admitted that he had no idea Babu had the computer skills or the stock trading knowledge to do anything meaningful with the online account.

Astoundingly, Babu also had cleverly switched the stock account over to a Roth IRA, thus making the entire $34,000,000 free from any tax liability.

FYI: Babu is single, loves to peruse the Wall Street Journal, enjoys playing board games, going on long walks by the river, and later sharing sips of a large banana daiquiri with a special friend.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)