Tag Archives: flat

New Home Work-Out Program Called “Flatten Your Curves” Gaining Popularity

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Work out with Jack to help flatten your curves.

Fargo, ND – Are you stuck at home trying to work and/or just survive?

Do you have a ton of snack food in your kitchen, pantry, and garage?

Is this pandemic quarantining causing you to gain some extra weight?

Well then, you need to start doing the Flatten Your Curves home workout program!

The Flatten Your Curves home workout system was scientifically designed by the government to help taxes payers stay healthy enough to continue paying their taxes.

By doing certain exercises in a particular order, you are almost guaranteed to flatten your curves, just like our country is trying to do against the Coronavirus.

If everyone does their part by working out at home, together we can flatten our curves just in time for summertime social distancing.

Stevie Wonder Comes To Fargo To Do Some Snowmobiling

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Stevie Wonder on a snowmobile in Fargo!

Fargo, ND – You may have recently heard a rumor that Stevie Wonder was coming to Fargo to go snowmobiling.

Well, Mama, that ain’t no rumor!

After Sir Elton John publicly offered Stevie Wonder the use of one of his snowmobiles, Stevie decided to take Elton up on his offer and finally get that item checked off his Bucket List!

Stevie Wonder: “I have always wanted to go snowmobiling in Fargo, North Dakota and breathe the wild winter air while driving a snowmobile, all by myself.”

Some reasons why Fargo was chosen for Stevie Wonder’s snowmobile outing were its flatness of earth and its dearth of trees, both of which are salient for Stevie’s snowmobiling safety.

The FM Observer Asks: What Time Is It?

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time

Fargo, ND—Are you a literate human? Were you taught basic fundamental math as a child? Can you tell time? Then the FM Observer wants to talk to you!

What numbers are the big and little hands on your wristwatch currently on? Are you sane? Can you see the forest for the trees? The FM Observer wants to know. Tell us what time you think it is, if your brain can comprehend it.

Is there a digital clock on your cell phone, or is your phone a dried-up banana? Were your fingers bitten off by a chupacabra? Unless you’re trapped in a time capsule that was fused shut by the military in an attempt to cryogenically preserve your body for future research, you should tell us what time it is.

How many times do we need to ask you? Our shrink is getting very concerned now that we’ve pulled a no-show for our daily therapy session. If you’d only tell us what time it is, we could go have our head examined. Please! What freaking time is it, in your solitary and desolate corner of the Earth??

Ok, here’s the deal. Tell us what time it is and we’ll let little Timmy go. The choice is yours. His life is in your hands. The clock is ticking…what’s it gonna be?