Tag Archives: small

Dickinson Team Name Changing From The Midgets To Just “The Dicks”

For political correctness, the Dickinson Midgets may now be called The Dicks.

Dickinson, ND – The small town of Dickinson, North Dakota was once simply known for being the home town of the famous actress Angie Dickinson.

But now, the Dickinson School Board is in the cross-hairs of a new and extremely flagrant political correctness violation.

The Dickinson mascot and team name of The Midgets has been deemed to be objectionable, abusive, and unacceptable.

School Board president Dr. Sigmond Dickstein, who has suggested changing their name to simply “The Dicks”, asked to hear from some actual midgets to get their input on this matter.

Marty Smaltz of Midgets Of Our Nation (MOON): My organization believes the current Dickinson mascot is not only repugnant and displeasing, but also provocative, humiliating, and derogatory. If you don’t change it, I will change it for you!

Ms. Tina Little who represented L.O.W. (Little Organized Workers): Not only is your team name The Midgets insulting, to me it is very repulsive, disrespectful, reprehensible, offensive, and hurtful.

Gordy Shorts from the Midgets Of America Network (MOAN): Besides being indecent and demeaning because of its ties to historical circus freak shows, I consider your team name to be rude, distasteful, vulgar, crude, and quite frankly…embarrassing.

After a short break, Dr. Sigmond Dickstein (whose name can be re-arranged to spell Dickinson Midgets) said that the Dickinson School Board will need a little time to decide their final decision on this matter which is of no small importance to the tiny town of Dickinson, which is dwarfed by neighboring Bismarck.

New MN State Record Set For Smallest Walleye Ever Caught

This baby walleye sets the new record for the smallest walleye ever caught in the state of Minnesota!

Lakes, MN – Dr. Wayne Tilley didn’t know what he was in for during the Minnesota walleye fishing opener.

Wayne had no idear he would soon be the new state record-holder for the smallest walleye ever successfully reeled in since fishing records first began being kept back during the Taft administration.

Dr. Tilley plans to have the beautiful specimen stuffed and mounted for his children’s children to share with their children, if North Korea hasn’t nuked us by then.

Wayne Tilley in his own words: “Even tho it was only about four inches long and weighed in at about a quarter ounce, the darn little rascal put up a pretty good fight!

Ironically, all the letters in Wayne Tilley can somehow be re-arranged to spell: Tiny Walleye!

Big Demand For Small Hats Due To Zika Virus

This charming line of ZikaHats available at Nordstrom's and Walmart.

This charming line of ZikaHats available at Nordstrom’s and Walmart.

Hatboro, Pennsylvania – As the mutating Zika Virus spreads by mosquitos through America, the fashion industry is wasting no time trying to get ahead of a new trend.

Since the Zika Virus causes microcephaly, hat sizes will soon need to be smaller to fit onto all those smaller heads.

International fashion designer Zeke Kahat has seen this trend of smaller heads needing smaller hats go from the Zika Forest in Uganda, to the Island of Yap, to the mainland of Brazil.

“My colorfully fantastic collection of ZikaHats is here to stay, especially since there is no vaccine or treatment for the Zika Virus” says Zeke Kahat.