Weirdos Believe Secret Underground Community Exists Beneath Hollywood Hills

January 10th, 2014 | by Nick
What Lies Beneath? (rated R)

What Lies Beneath? (rated R)

Hollywood, CA—Several mentally-troubled outsiders believe there exists a secret underground celebrity community beneath the rolling hills of Hollywood, California. Locals are skeptical, but crazies are convinced that there’s stuff going on underneath the Earth, beneath the HOLLYWOOD sign.

zion

Zion

Conspiracy theorists have presented non-factual evidence of secret activities occurring beneath the Hills. “25 million people living in LA and absolutely nothing going on beneath the Earth’s crust? I don’t think so, Tim,” proclaimed veteran conspiracy theorist Kenneth Noisewater. “Look beneath the Hills, not with your eyes, but with your instincts…you will see an enchanted, subterranean village full of Beautiful People. Backstage at the Hollywood Bowl is one entrance. Jack Nicholson’s backyard, there is another.”

Nobody truly knows what’s going on under there, but weirdos are convinced that it’s absolutely not nothing. Geologists, on the other hand, refute these claims with scientific evidence that if such an underground community did exist, it wouldn’t for long because the weight of the Earth above would collapse it into itself like an incredibly massive sinkhole.


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Nick

Co-Founder at FM Observer
Interstrapolating condectistic devariance via opentasmic protensive mindopathy.