Tag Archives: bars

Dear Dr. Finance: Is This A Good Time To Buy Gold?

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Dr. Finance has almost completely filled the FMO corporate break room with gold bars.

West Fargo, ND – We recently received a question for our very own Dr. Finance from a Mr. Don Salberg.

Mr. Salberg writes: Dear Dr. Finance, Is this a good time to buy gold?

Dear Don: Yes it is! As the chief financial officer for the FM Observer Corporation, I have green-lighted the buying of gold bars for some time now.

If you buy on a regular basis like we have been doing, you will be able to dollar-cost-average your way into the gold market.

With gold at about $1,200 per ounce, this does seem to be a favorable time to purchase gold.

The FM Observer break room is now almost completely full of pallets of gold bars, and we plan on buying more until there is no more room.

Ironically, all the letters in Don Salberg can be electroplated to spell: Golden Bars!

Downtown Fargo Adding Another Bar In An Attempt To Increase Crime And Number Of Drunks

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Downtown Fargo needs more bars to truly be considered a bona fide Drunkfest.

Fargo, ND – As if there wasn’t already enough crime and drunks in the Downtown Fargo area, the addition of a new bar should get those social parameters up to acceptable levels.

Instead of adding much-needed parking spaces, the presence of a brand new bar called Cobweb Jocks will provide Downtown Fargo with the amount of crime and number of drunks it seeks to become a world-class party locale.

“Just like going to a hockey game, what people enjoy the most is seeing drunken fights late at night,” says one late-night bloody-nosed drunk guy who just got done being in a fight.

Coupled with the fact that the Fargo Police headquarters is being relocated from Downtown Fargo to two miles west, people who have chosen to live in Downtown Fargo will soon be nicely surprised by the additional amount of exciting late-night activity happening in their hip-hop hot spot.

Fargo Family Finds Gold Bars Inside Walls Of Their Newly Purchased Older Home

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Walls filled with gold bars found in North Fargo home.

Fargo, ND – After purchasing an older home in North Fargo for about $240,000, Mr. Dell Glawson and his dear wife Goldie decided to remodel their older home by knocking out a few of the main floor walls.

In going for that more “open-concept” look, two of the old walls dividing the kitchen and living room had to be removed, which they chose to do themselves.

What Mr. Dell Glawson and his lovely wife Goldie soon discovered inside their walls was shiny gold bars stacked from floor to ceiling.

Based on the current price of gold, it is estimated that the gold they found in their walls is worth about $24 million dollars, or almost exactly 100 times more than the purchase price of their older home.

Ironically, Goldie’s Chinese fortune cookie the night before their big discovery predicted: “Mega-wealth will soon come a-knocking.”

Double ironically, all of the letters in Dell Glawson can be remodeled to spell: Golden Walls!

Ask For Your ‘Free Beer’ During Free Beer Week!

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Since it's free, you might as well ask for it.

Since it’s free, you might as well ask for it.

Fargo, ND – All across the region, it is once again Free Beer Week!

This will be the Second Annual Free Beer Week since last year’s kickoff was so well received.

If you find yourself at one of the many participating bars or restaurants in the area, simply ask for your Free Beer during Free Beer Week!

Various ways of asking for your Free Beer:

“Yeah, I think I’ll take my Free Beer now. Thanks!”

“Since it’s Free Beer Week, I might as well participate.”

“Got any of those Free Beers left, partner?”

What some people are saying about Free Beer Week:

Sven Carlos verbalized: “I love Free Beer Week! More things should be free, like movie theater tickets.”

Saradoc Tunnelly retorted: “Someone once bought me a free lunch but there were strings attached.”

Eglantine Labingi declared: “Could we have Free Beer Week like maybe once a month?”

Olafia Zaragamba exclaimed: “Whoever thought of Free Beer Week should get an award.”

Baldur Hornblower uttered: “If you don’t want your free beer, could I perhaps have it?”