Tag Archives: debate

Punditic Thoughts On The Vice Presidential Debate

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What really matters?

Salt Lake City, Utah – Here are some important questions and answers regarding the October 7th Vice Presidential debate between Senator Kamala Harris and Vice President Mike Pence.

Q: Who do you think won this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What will be the historical take-away from this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think Mike Pence would like to change about this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think was the key moment during the debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: Besides the plexiglass, what stood out during this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What might some protest signs say after this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: When people talk about this debate, what will be discussed first and foremost?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think matters most about this upcoming election?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: How will Saturday Night Live mock this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What issue was discussed the least during this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think will be remembered most about this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Biden Wins Dem Debate By Focusing On Clipping Coupons In The Stock Market

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Old Joe Biden knows about clipping coupons in the stock market.

Westerville, Ohio – Almost everyone agrees that former Vice President Joe Biden won the 4th Democrat debate which was held in the iconic suburb of Westerville, Ohio.

Here is the key moment when former VP Joe Biden cleverly won the debate:

CNN MODERATOR ERIN BURNETT: Vice President Biden, you have warned against demonizing rich people.

Do you believe that Senator Sanders and Senator Warren’s wealth tax plans do that?

JOE BIDEN: No, look, demonizing wealth, what I talked about is how you get things done.

And the way to get things done is take a look at the tax code right now.

The idea, we have to start rewarding work, not just wealth.

I would eliminate the capital gains tax.

I would raise the capital gains tax to the highest rate, of 39.5 percent.

I would double it, because guess what?

Why in God’s name should someone who’s clipping coupons in the stock market make, in fact, pay a lower tax rate than someone who, in fact, is, like I said, the, a schoolteacher and a firefighter? It’s ridiculous. And they pay a lower tax!

Emergency Counselors Now Available For Problematic Family Situations

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We here at FECES are here to help you. Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services to the rescue!

Moorhead, MN – Summer means fun and family getogethers which can also lead to domestic disharmonies.

A new governMental agency called Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) is now here to help with an alphabet of problems including: altercations, brawls, conflicts, debates, eruptions, and fights.

If some serious disharmony breaks out during a gathering in your garage, at your lake cabin, or in a restaurant, just call Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) and they will professionally take care of your fecal matter.

When the shit hits the fan after the conversation turns to politics, climate change, or even gender fluidity, remember to immediately contact Family Emergency Counseling Extra Services (or FECES) to make sure everything comes out well in the end.

Heidi Heitkamp And Kevin Cramer Agree To Three UFC-Style Octagon Fights

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Will octagon fighting between candidates become the new normal? Tune in to find out.

Bismarck, ND – Heidi Heitkamp and Kevin Cramer, who are both fighting for the same Senate seat, will meet three times prior to the election in order to help undecided voters make their choice.

Their campaigns have agreed that these three meetings will each be a UFC-style fight held within a fenced octagon in which there basically are no rules.

North Dakota is possibly the first state to have their candidates engage in octagon fighting, instead of the normal (and boring) debate setting where they answer questions whilst standing at a podium and sip water for an hour.

These three exciting octagon fights between Heidi Heitkamp and Kevin Cramer are expected to be watched by people all across the country, not only because of the importance of the race but also because of the uniqueness of their encounters.

Senate To Debate If ‘Biweekly’ Means Twice Per Week Or Once Every Two Weeks

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U.S. Senate only spends time debating impotent issues.

U.S. Senate spends time debating impotent issues.

Washington, DC – Next week, the United States Senate is set to debate what is the precise definition of the ambiguous term “biweekly“.

Some senators strongly believe that biweekly means twice a week, as in: “The biweekly trysts with my paramour usually happen on Wednesdays and Saturdays.”

Other senators vehemently disagree while believing that biweekly means once every two weeks. Example: “It is time to vote to double our Senatorial pay by changing the schedule from every four weeks to biweekly.”

What the Senate decides could make a big difference whenever the term “biweekly” is used.

Where do you stand on this controversial issue which is negatively affecting the unity of the United States?

You can expect to hear this important question contested hotly during the upcoming presidential debates between Hillary’s Clinton and Donald’s Trump.