Tag Archives: life coach

How To Find Your Groove Pattern (Before It’s Too Late)

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Dr. Moose Gravert can help you find your Groove Pattern in the comfort of your own home.

Groove Park, USA – Have you been thinking you need to find your Groove Pattern?

Many just like you have been yearningly searching for their Groove Pattern before that window completely shuts in their life.

Luckily, your FM Observer has invited Dr. Moose Gravert to conduct some Groove Pattern workshops right here in River City.

Dr. Moose Gravert speaks:

“If you don’t like where you’re at, move to another Groove Pattern. Once we get into the right Groove Pattern, we’re like athletes in the zone.

You can always tell when a Groove Pattern is not working. Finding your Groove Pattern makes life flow better. When you get the right Groove Pattern going, time just flies. When you’re in a Groove Pattern, there is no thinking. Everything just happens.

There’s a feeling behind a Groove Pattern. A good Groove Pattern releases adrenaline in your body like the feeling when you’ve won a prize. You feel that energy. You feel uplifted, centered, calm, and powerful. That’s what good Groove Patterns are all about.

When you’re in a good Groove Pattern, you’re not spinning your wheels. You’re moving forward in a straight and narrow path, unwavering in your purpose. A Groove Pattern is the best place in the world. Because when you are in it, you have the freedom to explore your world.”

Groovily, all of the letters in Moose Gravert can be re-arranged to spell: Groove Master!

Mars Rover Discovers Relatively Intelligent Life

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Lichen us on Facebook!

Mars, Milky Way – Even though scientists have now officially discovered life on Mars, they are admittedly a bit underwhelmed by the fact that it’s just some lichens.

However, top Mars lichenologist Dr. Charles Nim says: “We are lichen what we’re seeing with this Mars rover!”

Dr. Nim notes that it’s quite amazing that we’ve now found a mutualistic relationship of algae and fungi living and breathing on the Red Planet, but trying to communicate with it has so far been a challenge.

“These lichens are forming themselves into the shape of a human brain to supposedly better communicate with us,” the Nimster explains.

Using lichenometry, the orange lichen colony appears to be about 54 million years old but doesn’t look a day over 50 million years.

Going forward, Dr. Charles Nim shared this final thought: “We are lichen our chops to find our more about this life that we have discovered on Mars!”

As you might expect, all the letters in Charles Nim can re-arrange into: Mars Lichen!

FM Observer’s Long-Time Mentor Dies At The Very End Of His Life

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Bernard Idiovance was an early television pioneer probably best known for inventing satirical fake news.

Eastern West Fargo, ND – Bernard Idiovance, who was very instrumental in encouraging the founders of the FM Observer to begin such an undertaking, is now in the hands of the undertakers.

Dear Bernard was not only a mentor to all of us, but also a life coach and a rather strict disciplinarian keeping us in line and on time.

Mr. Idiovance died suddenly in his sleep while having a dream in which he was falling, that was going just fine…until he hit finally the ground.

Bernard Idiovance is probably best known for inventing satirical fake news and therefore launching us in the direction we now still find ourselves headed.

Bidi (as we sometimes called him) was preceded in death by his dog…and Bingo was his name.

During our final visit to see Bernard, his last words to us were: “Now, do I know you folks?”

Man Tweaks Life Plan After Doctor Tells Him He May Not Live Forever

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Fargo man is totally stunned upon learning that he may not live forever.

Fargone, ND – When Mr. Verner Foot walked into his doctor’s office, he was honestly thinking that he would live forever.

When this came up during office visit conversation, his doctor gently broke the news to Verner that the chances of not living forever are about 100%.

Mr. Foot is his own words: “What the hell?! This is certainly news to me. Well, yeah, this definitely changes things, in a rather major way!”

When we asked Verner Foot what sort of life changes he’s planning on making based on this new information, he said: “Pretty much everything, except for diet and lifestyle.”

Anagramically, all the letters in Verner Foot can be mixed around to spell: Not Forever!

FM Observer Is Upping Our Volume And Encouraging Our Readers To Up Yours

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Learn how to up the volume in your life!

Fargone, ND – Our very own Dr. Lout Vue-Hemp will be mentoring a master workshop on how to up the volume of your life.

Dr. Lout Vue-Hemp is highly respected in many regions of our region for being the most respected expert on this timely topic.

Lout wishes to share his lifetime of lessons learned on upping the volume of positive experiential life happenings even when things are seemingly seeming to wind down a bit.

If you would like a chance to win free tickets to this incredible workshop, please send $25 to our FMO headquarters and also include a paragraph about the good and bad in your life.

Dr. Lout Vue-Hemp guarantees that after attending his valuable sessions, your life will never be the same.

Expectedly, all the letters in Lout Vue-Hemp can be mentored to spell: Up The Volume!

Today Is The Last Day Of The Beginning Of Your Life

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Photo by Scott Miles, Photo Ambassador, Four Seasons Resort Maui

Here is your Inspirational Message for today from FM Observer’s very own online-ordained Pastor Peter Paul:

Dear Friends: Today, as the sun sets on the horizon, this chapter of your life will be over. Everything up until this point has hopefully prepared you for what lies around the corner.

Tomorrow will begin a new chapter of your life. But first, you might want to look back at: where you’ve been, where you’re at now, what you stand for, who’s standing next to you, and where are all of your belongings?

At this point, if you have not yet reached your full potential, time is starting to run out for you to find your niche in this world. As a famous thespian once said: “You better get your act together before the curtains fall!”

Just remember: You are the author of your autobiography. How do you want your next chapter to start? How do you want the whole thing to end? Who do you want in your bibliography? Where did you put your keys?

Final closing thought: One of your recent fortune cookies is true; you just need to figure out which one.

Creative Ways To Decline An Offer (Besides Just Saying No)

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If just saying NO doesn’t work, try one of these negative phrases:

West Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer recently brought in two excellent professional life coaches to instruct our entire staff on how to say “NO” in a number of different ways.

Let’s face it, there are many times you’re asked if you’d want to volunteer for a committee, or buy a coupon booklet, or get involved in some weekly activity. At the time, you know you should decline, but for some reason you say YES (and later regret it).

Certified Life Coaches Sonja Yust and Tony Jauss (who headquarter out of New Orleans, or NO-town) had us practice saying a number of useful phrases that can be used when trying to decline an offer when someone is asking you to do something you’d really rather not agree to.

After first responding by saying “Why do you ask?” then use any of these cleverly designed phrases as an alternative to just saying NO:

⦿ What part of “Nyet” don’t you understand?
⦿ This is not part of my agenda for this decade.
⦿ All signs are pointing toward non-concurrence.
⦿ My jurisdiction doesn’t cover this type of fiasco.
⦿ Thanks for asking, and for never bringing it up again.
⦿ I can commit to not committing to your misguided plans.
⦿ I gave up doing things that make me want to kill myself.
⦿ Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you in 20 years.
⦿ This idea is more undesirable to me than nude ice fishing.
⦿ Unfortunately, I don’t see this as being on my Vision Board.
⦿ I am currently not in the market to buy what you’re selling.
⦿ There are more gullible people you should discuss this with.
⦿ You seem to be barking up the wrong tree at the wrong time.
⦿ Your presentation is not falling into any common sense category.
⦿ You should rethink this idea until it starts to make some sense.
⦿ My news years resolution was to avoid stupid ideas like this one.
⦿ I would rather remove my own gallbladder with a rusty pitchfork.
⦿ Life is too short to pursue things like this that seem to totally suck.
⦿ I’ll consider your idea after the Minnesota Vikings win the Super Bowl.
⦿ This is the exit point at which I plan on disembarking this train to hell.
⦿ There are worse things I could agree to but I can’t think of any right now.
⦿ Sorry. That’s the day of my grandmother’s soccer game, and I never miss those!

⦾ Ironically, all of the letters in both “Sonja Yust” and “Tony Jauss” can easily be re-arranged to: “Just Say No!”