Tag Archives: mind trick

Future Teller “Precog” Coming To Fargo To Give Free Readings To FMO Readers

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Precog exists in the present and future.

West Fargo, ND – A near and dear friend of your FM Observer is making a special trip to Fargo to do fortune tellings for our readers.

He simply goes by the name Precog because of his extraordinary abilities to pre-cogitate and pre-cognize future events and happenings.

Precog correctly predicted the bridge collapse in Minneapolis, the last dozen March Madness final four teams, the wild success of our FM Observer website, and that the Minnesota Vikings would never win a Super Bowl (until the year 2079).

Others have said that having a future-scope session with Precog is organically transformational and can actually awaken your inner consciousness like never before.

If you would like Precog to connect to your inner light, in order to feel your spiritual vibrations, and then explain what the game of life has in store for you, please sign up for our random drawing.

Each winning name selected will get a free session with Precog, which will immediately be followed by a hot-air balloon ride with Precog to any down-wind destination of your choice.

Mind Expansion Seminars Can Help You Reach Beyond Your Full Potential!

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Consider your mind to be the final frontier of endless possibilities.

West Fargo, ND – Have you been thinking that up until now you have not been using the full power of your mind?

Do you sometimes wonder how much brain power is actually under the hood of your head?

The FM Observer is proud to announce that our dear friend Dr. Madison Pennix will be hosting some powerful and life–changing Mind Expansion Seminars in the FM area.

All subjects related to thinking, memory, logic, intuition, and cognition will be discussed in serious talks sprinkled with levity and personal anecdotes.

Please stop by our corporate headquarters to sign up for these free Mind Expansion Seminars but we do ask for a voluntary mandatory donation of $500 to help provide seminar leaders and special guests with enough food and drink to make them feel like rock stars during their time here.

Ironically, all the letters in Madison Pennix can be re-arranged to spell: Mind Expansion!

All North Dakotans Now Required To Take An Annual Mental Examination

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After being mentally evaluated, every North Dakotan will be ranked as either Green, Yellow, or Red

Green=Fine Yellow=OK Red=Bad

Bismarck, ND – With much of the national discussion being focused on mental health, North Dakota will proactively soon begin annually checking the mental health of each and every one of its citizens.

A new task force called MIND (Mentally Interrogating North Dakota) will do a thorough evaluation of all North Dakotans on their half birthdays.

Based on the official results of their mental examination, every person in North Dakota, over the age of nine (9) will be given one of three possible rankings:

Green Light: You are fine. No major mental problems were detected. See you again in one year, on your next half birthday. (For example: If your birthday is on April 15th, your mandatory mental exams will be every October 15th.)

Yellow Light: Some concerns were detected based on your responses to questions selected especially for you. You will need to be put on a MIND Watch List and retested monthly, until you are hopefully upgraded to a Green Light.

Red Light: A likely problematical situation was detected. You will be held for further testing to determine the magnitude of the problem. For your convenience, padded shuttle buses heading to Jamestown will be standing by.

Costumes And Candy Banned For Halloween In Fargo

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All holidays have essentially been banned in Fargo, North Dakota

Fargo, ND – The custom of dressing up in costumes for Halloween has been banned for security purposes.

Also, the handing out of candy has also been banned because of a few bad apples in the past who have handed out dangerous items.

During the fright night of Halloween, people can still go door to door and ring doorbells but trick-or-treaters must be dressed as themselves (with no masks such as Donald Trump).

Home dwellers can no longer pass out candy. Items that shall be allowed to be given out include: coins, printed poems, tooth brushes, and small used toys.

Due to a sharp increase in distracted drivers who feel it necessary to be texting whilst operating a large moving vehicle, trick-or-treating shall end at 20 o’clock.

Looking ahead to the upcoming festive Holiday season: Thanksgiving has been banned since not everyone has things to be thankful for, and Christmas has also been banned due to excessive materialism, extreme religious overtones, not to mention all the wackos who dress up as Santa.

Volunteers Sought For Deja-Vu Clinical Study

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Do U ever have deja vu? Didn’t U just ask me that?

West Fargo, ND – A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

Jamestown Man Goes Crazy While Looking At Himself In The Mirror Too Long

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I’m looking at the man in the mirror.

Jamestown, ND – Have you ever looked at your self in the mirror long enough so that you forgot you were looking at a reflection? Mirrorologists call this magical moment the Mind Snap Moment, named after Dr. Leonard Mind Snap, who once reported that: “This is the moment when you suddenly think you’re looking at another person instead of your own reflection.”

A Jamestown man, who shall remain anonymous (Lonny Frackenbush), just recently encountered the Mind Snap Moment while looking into his bathroom mirror way too long. Hallucinations of indoor snow and uninvited in-laws began joining him during his 10-hour starefest into his bathroom vanity. Dr. Mind Snap once said: “Mirrors should come with warning labels.” It’s just too bad that Lonny Frackenbush didn’t read this post soon enough.