Tag Archives: soup

FMObserver Donates Valuable Work Of Art To Popular Soup Kitchen To Boost Morale

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π”½π•£π•šπ•–π•Ÿπ••π•π•ͺ 𝔽𝕒𝕔𝕖 by Amsterdam Douglass has an appraised value of $350,000

Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer has announced plans to donate a very valuable work of art to the Second Lutheran Church soup kitchen in a magnanimous effort to boost mid-winter morale.

The soup kitchen, cleverly called “The Souper Bowl”, is located next to the Second Lutheran Church, and is one of the most popular soup kitchens this side of Dilworth.

The work of art which is being donated by the FM Observer is an infamous painting by Sir Amsterdam Douglass who recently came out of retirement just to create this masterpiece for “The Souper Bowl”.

The painting is entitled π”½π•£π•šπ•–π•Ÿπ••π•π•ͺ 𝔽𝕒𝕔𝕖, which Amsterdam Douglass reportedly painted of his grandson Omar, supposedly after eating a healthy portion of magic mushrooms.

Everyone who reads this post is invited to visit “The Souper Bowl”, and see π”½π•£π•šπ•–π•Ÿπ••π•π•ͺ 𝔽𝕒𝕔𝕖 up on the wall, while enjoying some mushroom soup.

Try Some Radioactive Soup For What Ails You

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You’ve probably heard them talking about Radioactive Soup on the radio.

​Are you wanting to jazz up your diet?

Do you need more energy to charge your batteries?

Would you like to consume more soup?

Dr. Audie Porta-Visco who specializes in radioactive foods suggests that you make some radioactive soup to cure whatever ails you.

Just like bacteria, not all radioactivity is harmful to your health.

A soup made with as many of the following highly radioactive ingredients will provide you with enough radioactivity to charge up your system:Β Brazil nuts, Lima Beans, Potatoes, Carrots, Avocados, and Red Meat.

For dessert, eat some Bananas and Peanut Butter and then wash it all down with Beer.

Since all of the aforementioned foods are relatively high in radioactivity, you should feel amazingly recharged within minutes.

Incredibly, all of the letters in Audie Porta-Visco can be stirred up to spell: Radioactive Soup!

FM Observer’s Reader’s New Year’s Resolutions

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Nunc Coepi = Now I Begin

West Fargo, ND – We recently met face-to-face with some of our faithful readers at a local alcoholic establishment to compile a list of all their top New Year resolutions.

So, in case you have not made your New Year’s resolutions yet, or just need some more good ideas, here are the FM Observer’s reader’s Top Ten list of New Year’s resolutions for the new year for you:

β—™ Change all passwords to extremely long ones.
β—™ Finish Christmas shopping by 4th of July.
β—™ Continue to volunteer at soup kitchens.
β—™ Dye hair silver to get more respect.
β—™ Purge all Minnesota Vikings stuff.
β—™ Start exercising in February.
β—™ Join a Ping Pong league.
β—™ Start clipping coupons.
β—™ Get a smarter phone.
β—™ Take more napsters.
β—™ Drink more beer.
β—™ Fight for peace.
β—™ Gain 16 pounds.

Mummified Monkey Successfully Brought Back To Life

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Experts bring mummified monkey back to life by using miraculous new technique.

Dayton, OH – After discovering a mummified monkey in an old department store’s duct work, a team of mummiologists was called in to see if anything could be done to save the mortalized monkey.

Dr. Odem Kenady, who headed up the team, said this upon being called to save the dead monkey: “We believe we now have the technology to bring mummified monkeys back to life, by slowly adding banana water to their desiccated carcass, thus allowing their body cells to literally come back to life right before our eyes. We need to at least try because: mummified monkeys matter!”

After the monkey was miraculously brought back to life by Dr. Kenady, and then deemed to be in fairly stable condition, the original owner of the miracle monkey was contacted, who said: “For the last 50 years, I’ve been wondering where my little Jo-Jo disappeared to!”

Jo-Jo is now enjoying some banana soup after 50 years of mummification.

Ironically, all the letters in Odem Kenady can be resuscitated to spell: Dead Monkey!

Fargo Lobster Bisque Company Goes Belly Up Due To Lack Of Local Lobsters

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It would’ve been real nice to have a Lobster Bisque company here in Fargo but apparently they forgot the Feasibility Study.

Fargo, ND – Even before it officially opened its doors for business, the Fargo Lobster Bisque Company is officially closing its doors.

SelboΒ Berquist is the owner of the already defunct Fargo Lobster Bisque Company who now admits: “Yeah, we prolly forgot to do our due diligence and go with the highly recommended Feasibility Study which prolly would’ve red flagged us to the fact that Fargo does not have a large lobster population living in the area.”

So what are Mr. Berquist’s plans for the future?

“Well, we have heard the Minnesota lakes area is starting to produce a plethora of zebra mussels so we are prolly looking into re-packaging ourselves in that general direction,” Selbo ponders.Β 

Ironically, all the lobsters in Selbo Berquist can bisquely be re-arranged to spell: Lobster Bisque!

Minnesota’s Turtle Hunting Season Soon To Open

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Brave turtle hunters will soon begin their quest to kill a prize turtle.

Brave turtle hunters will soon begin their quest to kill a large turtle to make turtle soup.

Turtle River, MN – It’s almost that exciting time of year again when turtle hunters of all shapes and sizes come out of their shells and gear up to go turtle hunting.

Minnesota reports that a record number of turtle hunting licenses have been sold this year.

Last year nearly 90,000 turtles were harvested from Minnesota lakes, rivers, and swamps.

Mondo Chafley is the president of Turtles Unlimited: “Yah, me ready to go turtle huntin. Me wana make turtle soup for dah hole family.”

By participating in Minnesota’s annual turtle hunt, people can re-enact American history going way back to 1805:

The story goes that a popular British rock band named Lewis & Clark was on tour in Minnesota with their families. They enjoyed the sport of turtle hunting so much that their sons eventually went on the form the band “The Turtles” who topped the charts with their smash hit: “Happy Together”.