Tag Archives: west fargo

Piano Playing Support Group Supportive Of Playing Piano

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The new Piano Playing Support Group is for everyone and anyone who likes to play the piano and eat cookies.

West Fargo, ND – A new support group for piano players is forming in West Fargo for people who might enjoy the benefits of such a group.

Dr. Abu Coplin will be hosting the Piano Player Support Group meetings at his new Pianomatic Support Center.

Each session will begin with a Meet & Greet, followed by participants taking turns playing piano, followed by treats and a discussion group called Issues & Tissues.

Participants will be invited to share their respective feelings on a Question of the Day, such as: What is your favorite note? Do you believe in chords? Why are some piano keys black whilst others are white? If you were a piano, would you play yourself?

If you’d be interested in joining the Piano Player Support Group, please contact Dr. Abu Coplin at his Pianomatic Support Center.

Ironically, all the letters in Abu Coplin can be re-arranged to spell: Piano Club!

West Fargo Adding Seven New Robo-Cops To Its Police Force

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Expect to soon start seeing Robo-Cops like this bad boy in your neighborhood.

West Fargo, ND – To keep up with a growing demand for police presence, West Fargo has gotten the OK to add seven new Robo-Cops to its department.

Analysis of a recent survey showed that the City-On-The-Grow actually needed nine new officers but West Fargo’s Police Chief believes that seven new Robo-Cops should take care of their need to reshape the department in the right direction for the city’s future.

Even though each new Robo-Cop costs about $150-thousand dollars, a generous grant from the justice department will help with that cost.

The Robo-Cop Corporation points out that Robo-Cops can work one continuous 160-hour shift each week, needing only 8 hours for maintenance and to recharge.

West Fargo’s Police Chief also adds that these new Robo-Cops don’t have to be paid like their human counterparts, but he quickly added: “But don’t tell them that!”

Many Apple Pickers Who Choose To Make Apple Wine End Up Getting Quite Drunk

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A glass of apple wine each day helps keep the blues away.

West Fargo, ND – It’s that special time of year once again when apple pickers in the region start thinking about fermentation.

Dr. Zymurgy explains that by using the magic of fermentation, a little bit of yeast and sugar can transform friendly apple juice into powerful apple wine.

Ms. Feleppa Westin is executive apple of the Apple Wine Fest which she describes as one big drunkfest that celebrates the fermented juice from the original apple of sin.

“If you start your home fermentation process in mid-October, by Thanksgiving you will have some kick-ass apple wine for which to give thanks,” says Ms. Westin. “And by Christmas, you’ll be ready to do some serious caroling throughout your neighborhood!” she adds.

Ironically, all the letters in Feleppa Westin can be re-fermented to spell: Apple Wine Fest!

West Fargo Library Being Closed For Displaying Books

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Books such as these were blatantly on public display within the confines of the West Fargo Library!

West Fargo, ND – The West Fargo Library was recently notified that the facility will sadly be shut down at the end of the month for having displayed books within the library.

The Federal Library Administration Board (FLAB) has made it perfectly clear that the displaying of books in public libraries will no longer be tolerated as it might be found to be offensive to some non-bibliophiles.

Mrs. Foglia Strawberry who has been acting executive director of the West Fargo Library since 1978 is asking that anyone who currently has a book checked out from the West Fargo Library please kindly return their book(s) or simply keep them forever since the library is being closed.

What will the West Fargo Library be used for now that it is being shut down? The FM Observer has learned that the former library space will be utilized for Transgender Support Group meetings during the day and Transexual Studies during the evenings.

Ironically, all the letters in Foglia Strawberry can magically be re–arranged to spell: West Fargo Library!

Volunteers Sought For Deja-Vu Clinical Study

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Do U ever have deja vu? Didn’t U just ask me that?

West Fargo, ND – A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

A new clinical study focusing on Deja Vu is now seeking volunteers who may have had personal experiences with the Deja Vu phenomenon.

The Marzano Clinic will be paying selected volunteers $200 per day as they undergo a full battery of testing designed to isolate and document the Deja Vu occurrences.

Elderly Man Dies Peacefully At Home After Family Tells Him Trump Was Impeached

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Impeach is the new favorite ice cream flavor in many blue states.

West Fargo, ND – Surrounded by family, close friends, and a few random strangers, Mr. Patrum McPhie let himself go toward the light after hearing the news that President Trump had just been impeached.

Dr. Mutch Pimpare who was acting as spokesperson for the motley group, said they believed it was the best thing to offer up the fake news to the family’s dying patriarch that President Trump had just been impeached so that Mr. McPhie could just relax and go in peace.

Ironically, both Mutch Pimpare and Patrum McPhie can somehow be magically re-arranged to spell: Impeach Trump!

Vasco Corporation Now Hiring Part-Time Workers To Test Wetchops

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Imagine getting paid to do something you really enjoy!

West Fargo, ND – Please answer the following questions honestly:

Are you a motivated person who is looking for something better to focus your energy on? (Yes, No)

Do you feel that up until this point in your life that your potential has mostly remained latent? (Yes, No)

Has your self esteem taken a blow to the mid-section because you’ve gotten screwed over in life’s lottery? (Yes, No)

Would you like to become an associate with one of the top companies in its category? (Yes, Yes!)

How would you feel about earning benefits and vacation time for almost doing nothing? (Great, Really Great!)

Why not consider getting a part-time job testing wetchops at the Vasco Corporation?!

Listen to what others are saying about the job you could have:

Julian Calder: Once I started working at Vasco, things in my life really started turning around.

Bianca Pinto: I wouldn’t trade my wetchop testing job here at Vasco Corp for two tickets to a Vikings game!

Yandarbi Sheripov: If you are looking for a great job, testing wetchops at Vasco is really a great job.

Rong Dewei Ni: Me love testing wetchops. Vasco Corporation really really nice company to me.

Privan Zrinko: I tell you what. Vasco wetchops are the best ever. Testing them is like play instead of work.

Viresh Hummelink: When I first heard about this job, methought it maybe sucked, but I was very very wrong.

Many College Students Admit To Living Off Of Costco Free Samples

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Come and get your free samples…each and every day, mmkay?

Fargo, ND – The FM Observer has learned from our last year’s annual survey that a large number of area college students who are often living on a rather tight budget regularly eat for free at the Costso store.

Franseska Thrice, who’s studying Animal Sciences at NDSU, admits that just by sauntering through Costco and sometimes Sam’s Club, enough calories can be ingested to support life on an on-going basis.

Enzo Jihoon, who is majoring in Cross-Cultural Interactions at Concordia College, is trying to save money to buy a new car, “so why the hell should I pay money to eat, when I can eat for free at Costco, and thereby greatly increase my chances of purchasing that car I’ve been eyeing for months?”

Costco is currently reviewing its long-standing policy of offering free samples to its customers.

“We might have to start charging for our ‘free’ samples if we see an increasing trend of abuse by the college agers,” says an interactive company spokesbot.

West Fargo Garage Band Hits Big Time After Being Discovered By Leonardo DiCaprio

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Mind Probe goes viral internationally thanks to a protesting actor.

Mind Probe goes viral internationally thanks to a visiting protesting actor dressed as a creepy clown.

West Fargo, ND – Just as Steve Jobs began tinkering with apples in his garage, three young men playing their music in a garage have blasted off from their West Fargo launch pad.

The local garage band named Mind Probe was recently discovered by actor Leonardo DiCaprio who was on his way back to the Dakota Access Pipeline protest site to offer his continuing support.

DiCaprio who had heard of this new young band that has been writing songs about the Pipeline Protest decided to wear a creepy clown Halloween costume and walk by their garage to check them out.

Obviously, based on the eventual outcome, this initial meeting between Leo and Mind Probe went very well.

The band Mind Probe is made up of: Klaus Iminoff (age 15, keyboard and guitar), Kirk Jolander (age 16, keyboard and bass) and Zane McShtix (age 17, “born to play drums”).

“Their unique and hard-hitting music is an amalgamation best described as half punk, half rap, and half rock,” says Rolling Stone senior critic Anton Kurzweil III. “They’ve written some incredible songs together which are almost exclusively about the Dakota Access Pipeline protest imbroglio.”

Some of Mind Probe’s songs include: Lay Some Pipe, Foil The Oil, Zero Ground, Holy Imbroglio, and Reply To All (which will all be available in time for Christmas on their first CD which is entitled Garage Sale).

FMO To Host Incredible Meet & Greet Session With Carson Wentz At Our New Corporate Headquarters

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Carson Wentz coming home for homecoming!

Hall of Fame quarterback Carson Wentz comes home for homecoming!

West Fargo, ND – With the ever-popular Carson Wentz in the area during his NFL bye week after crushing the Pittsburgh Steelers 34-3, the FMObserver will be hosting a special Meet & Greet session with the future Hall of Fame quarterback at our state-of-the-art corporate headquarters in Wentz Fargo.

For the first 10,000 Carson Wentz fans that show up, each will receive a free autographed NFL Carson Wentz jersey for only $50, plus enjoy free Philadelphia-style lobster bisque in a white wine deglazed reduction sauce served over Conchiglie pasta (since it looks like little footballs) for a suggested voluntary offering of $35 to help cover the cost of flying the live lobsters in from Philadelphia via lobster drones.

Then, if the spirits move you, hottub in one of our many corporate hottubs after shooting clay pigeons with Carson Wentz from our rooftop party gazebo while being entertained by the infamous Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders and the band Earth, Wind and Fire.

With thee Carson Wentz in town, it’s time to cancel your meaningless garage sale or pull your kids out of their scoreless soccer games and go catch one of the many free shuttle buses that will be continually transporting folks to and from the Carson Wentz Meet & Greet Extravaganza Celebratorial Event-of-the-Century and remember to bring lots of money for all of the free stuff!