Moorhead, MN – During a relatively relaxing autumn round of par-free golf, Mr. Gotlib Haycraft was suddenly hit by a golf cart while trying to hit his tee shot on the par 3 seventh hole at the new Bogie Man Golf Course in Moorhead.
Police are not entirely sure if Mr. Haycraft was accidentally run over due to the normal smartphone distractions, or if he was being specifically targeted because of a political bumper sticker on the back of his Subaru Forester.
When asked if he was OK after the accident, Mr. Gotlib Haycraft said: “No! I’m not OK! And no matter what the reason, this kind of thing just should not happen while I’m out playing a fricking round of golf!”
If it’s determined the cause was distraction, the driver could spend up to a month in jail.
If it is ultimately deemed to be a hate crime, the maximum sentence could be life in prison.
Distractedly, all of the letters in “Gotlib Haycraft” can be trampled to spell: Hit By A Golf Cart!
Latest posts by Johnnny (see all)
- Family’s Robot Vacuum Cleaner Found Guilty Of Terrorizing And Threatening Behavior - March 12, 2021
- The Great Musk Ox Migration To Come Directly Through The Fargo Area - November 30, 2020
- West Fargo’s New Mask Strategy Is Basically To Not Upset Anyone By Imposing A Mask Mandate - October 27, 2020
- Punditic Thoughts On The Vice Presidential Debate - October 8, 2020