Johnnny’s Seventh Retrospective (Posts 600-700)

October 11th, 2018 | by Johnnny
My second one hundred posts.

My 7th 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence!

Since 700 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 700th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back on Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

600. Johnnny’S sixth retrospective (posts 500-600)
601. Woman claims Woodrow Wilson touched her inappropriately during White House visit
602. Expensive study finds that the year 2100 is only about 82 years away
603. Al Franken dedicates new center for groping
604. West Fargo adding seven new robo cops to its police force
605. Winter snow predictions now called flake news
606. Mall Santa resigns after multiple accusations of groping
607. Cigar-shaped alien spacecraft actually a large french bread heading for Fargo
608. Moorhead man who claims to be the real Santa detained for questioning
609. Winter holiday greetings from your FM Observer
610. Top Ten questions to ask family in-laws and relatives during Christmas
611. Fargo man arrested for leaving dog outside too long
612. Moorhead woman builds house all by herself
613. President expected to swear more after study shows profanity is sign of honesty
614. Jeff Sessions voted most out of touch person in America
615. Fargo flocks to car washes before return of dreaded polar vortex
616. CNN’s Anderson Pooper gets South Park award for swearing 81 times in one hour
617. Man who caused Hawaii missile mishap admits he may have pushed the wrong button
618. Readers invited to email us ideas for future posts
619. Selling stolen pets becoming big business
620. Some religious groups demanding statue of David wear some clothes
621. Phi Eagles fans kindly asked to wear purple instead of green to Super Bowl
622. Top Ten things to do instead of watching the Super Bowl
623. Fargo boy first to ride rocket bike into space
624. Tsunami false alarm issued for state of North Dakota
625. Many wondering how curling can be considered an Olympic sport
626. Very varying reviews on First Lady Michelle Obama’s Smithsonian portrait
627. The Fargo Syndrome beginning to affect many Fargoans
628. Fargo Civic Center purchased by Tom Cruise/Scientology
629. Piano playing support group supportive of playing piano
630. Building-like structures discovered on planet Mars
631. Next Olympic winter games to be held in Fargo North Dakota
632. FM Observer lost in the wilderness for forty days
633. All North Dakotans now required to take an annual mental examination
634. The new rage is having a purse puppy
635. Dolphins being introduced to Fargo-Moorhead area hotel swimming pools
636. Mummified monkey successfully brought back to life
637. Fargo’s Wood-Chip-Stock Festival attracting some major attractions
638. FMO considering starting our own line of wedding anniversary cards
639. Vanna White and Pat Sajak getting divorced after thirty five years
640. Court artist accused of drawing under the influence at Cohen/Daniels court hearing
641. Musician flips the bird to Fargo crowd while suppposedly trying to play the F chord
642. Full disclosure: Sean Hannity and Michael Cohen are brothers from another mother
643. New Starbucks bathroom policy welcomes all
644. Sign up to join the FMO birthday club for only $100
645. Fargo family finds gold bars inside walls of their newly purchased older home
646. To show respect, they’re leaving Barbara Bush on the one dollar bill
647. Kids warned against playing outside during nice summer months
648. New driverless motorcycles expected to make roads safer
649. Jimmy Kimmel being investigated for using unlicensed monkey to prepare his taxes
650. Lots now being sold around West Fargo lagoon
651. Downtown Fargo adding another bar in an attempt to increase crime and number of drunks
652. Kitchen remodeling company creating questionably satisfied customers
653. New UND mascot needs a name
654. Mueller seeks to penetrate Trump’s personal inner sanctum with long large probe
655. Controlled burn that got out of control now 50% contained
656. Hawaiian officials warning people that hot lava is very hot
657. Emperor penguin elected president of Antarctica
658. Mind expansion seminars can help you reach beyond your full potential
659. Fargo approves funding for Perv Park where area pervs can gather
660. Nursing home residents shocked when told they must run the full Fargo marathon
661. Busload of Fargo folks heading to the royal wedding
662. Fargo dog school successfully teaching young dogs to communicate in English
663. So-called Feng Shui Burglar breaks into homes only to re-arrange the furniture
664. The Orb is now available wherever cool things are sold
665. FMO announces the 2018 smartest kids contest
666. Pope clarifies there is a Hell, otherwise known as Grand Forks
667. Dennis Rodman to receive Nobel Peace prize
668. Contest winner eats 81 tacos in 15 minutes
669. Area marshes getting really bogged down
670. New game show on Fox called Find Your Parents to be hosted by Roseanne Barr
671. Global Spinning is increasing in speed; Is it too late to try and put the brakes on?
672. All West Fargoans asked to make a rock balancing sculpture in their yards
673. Montana tractor picked up by tornado lands in Minnesota
674. Win this 1968 Mercury Cougar by entering your name at our FMO corporate headquarters
675. Heidi Heitkamp and Kevin Cramer agree to three UFC-style octagon fights
676. Dog saves drowning man from river and then eats the man
677. Former president Jimmy Carter says Jesus would drink Heineken and vote to legalize recreational marijuana
678. Some Minnesota lakes showing early signs of fermentation
679. Gray stray cat virus now infecting some home computers
680. Medora musical rated most over-hyped attraction in ND because it truly sucks
681. Global Warming changing Algore into a reptile
682. Space Farce soon recruiting members in Fargo
683. Profanity OK at Holy Crap church
684. Many now see the Catholic Church as institutionalized pedophilia
685. Man raised by buffalo running for Congress
686. Woman suing hot sauce for being too hot
687. Red River Diversion still trying to begin long after it should have been finished
688. A brief history of Colorado
689. Shoplifter sentenced to twenty years at the West Acres mall
690. All granite countertops being recalled due to gamma radiation
691. Wandering through some wonderings
692. FEMA cot ready for hurricane Florence
693. Grade school goes into emergency lockdown when Catholic priest tries to enter the building
694. Dear Dr. Finance: Is this a good time to buy gold?
695. The new Aaron Rodgers $10 bills are very popular in Wisconsin
696. Wanting to collect and store everything in cardboard boxes is a sign of superior intelligence
697. An Exclusive FMO interview with Walt Whitman
698. What to do after receiving a presidential alert message
699. Another Autumn golfer nailed by a distracted driver-driven golf cart?


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)