Democrats Considering Lowering Voting Age To Ten While Offering Them Free Candy

March 15th, 2019 | by Johnnny

Top Dems luring children with candy.

Washington, DC – Nervous Democrats needing a win in the next presidential election are pushing to lower the voting age to ten while offering children free candy and recreational marijuana.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi believes it’s really important to capture kids when they’re in grade skool, before they know much about politix, and when they can still be easily swayed for whom to vote.

Senator Chuck Schumer concurs that rather than lowering the voting age to sixteen, lowering it to ten, along with offering free college, free candy, free pot, and free Doritos to anyone who doesn’t vote for the Republicans would be a boon to the Democrat voting base.

Both Pelosi and Schumer agree that their For The Children Act (H.R.1) is “really important” because we need to drastically change election laws before the next presidential election in order to prevent four more years of never-ending Trump investigations.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)