Johnnny’s Ninth Retrospective (Posts 800-900)

April 28th, 2020 | by Johnnny
My second one hundred posts.

My 9th 100 posts. Now I can build an even longer fence!

Since 900 is such a nice round number, it was decided to use the occasion of my 900th post to take a trip back down memory lane.

So, it’s time once again to look back at Johnnny’s last 100 posts on your FM Observer.

All posts are listed as clickable hyperlinks in chronological order. Enjoy!

800. Johnnny’s eighth retrospective (posts 700-800)
801. Women moving to Venus and leaving men behind
802. Tree toppled by storm’s strong winds damages home which owner fixes using only duct tape
803. Clown parade coming to downtown Fargo!
804. Moorhead man who was attacked by a mourning dove is expected to survive
805. Fargo getting positive response from students about year-round schooling
806. Burp Mcguire explains the difference between a horse, donkey, mule, and jackass
807. Expert now believes universe began (and will also end) with a big bang
808. Famous rock band Autopsia is coming to Fargo; Tickets selling madly
809. Try some radioactive soup for what ails you
810. Wealthy benefactor offers conditional money for two Red River Valley counties
811. Top Ten things to do in the Fargo-Moorhead area this weekend
812. Top Ten Confucius quotes (a.k.a. Master Kong)
813. New events center to eventually open in Fargo after it’s made somewhat more inhabitable
814. Man chased by prairie dog in western North Dakota
815. If you’re shopping for a vacuum, we recommend getting the new Super Sucker 9000
816. New church giving whole bottle of wine with communion to attract new members
817. Lottery winner from Fargo blows it all on a single purchase
818. Golf tournament pummeled with watermelon-sized hail
819. Fargo man a dead ringer for Leonardo da Vinci
820. New programmable robot kicks dogs whenever they bark
821. Poetry contest could be your ticket!
822. President Trump to swap the blue state of California for Greenland
823. Monkey makes $34 million in stock market from a $5 investment
824. Kindergartener hitchhikes home after school bus drops him off 75 miles from home
825. UFO encounter in Marshall county Minnesota finally solved
826. National Lutheran church to become bird sanctuary denomination
827. UND football team adds moose as running back to roster in effort to beat the Bison
828. Man tweaks life plan after doctor tells him he may not live forever
829. FM Observer’s long-time mentor dies at the very end of his life
830. Man who’s half goat to marry half-goat woman said to make a great couple
831. Fargo ND being used as test site by Algore for global warming
832. Noble Sheet newsletter to keep everyone updated, connected, and in-the-loop
833. Dinosaur dig in Fargo’s Island Park drawing national attention
834. Mandan Artfest is a continuous celebration of outdoor murals
835. Family trapped in Fargo Escape Room for weeks
836. Mute man learns how to communicate by using a French horn
837. Critics saying Joker movie one of the best family-friendly comedies since Caddyshack
838. Weatherman predicting worst winter ever!
839. Moorhead to host national Zombie Apocalypse survival conference
840. Biden wins Dem debate by focusing on clipping coupons in the stock market
841. Mars rover discovers relatively intelligent life
842. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle moving to Moorhead Minnesota to live a normal life
843. Fargo man promises if he wins lottery jackpot, he’ll give everyone in Fargo one dollar
844. The Pope is encouraging Catholics to read the back of the Bible
845. This month is national Hallucination Day month!
846. Fargo woman named Siri gets asked a lot of questions
847. President Trump made a kid pro quo deal with Ukraine for a children exchange program
848. During impeachment inquiry lunch break Adam Schiff orders pizza for the Dems but disallows Republicans to have any pizza
849. Sign up to win a chance to host Cher in your Fargo home during the nights of her concert
850. For a change, the Concordia College Christmas concert will feature all Beatles music this year
851. Fargo man crushed to death while trying to carry 99-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
852. ND DOT has plans to reduce driver license wait times from 4 hours down to only 3 hours
853. Other states envious of South Dakota’s clever new meth slogan
854. Apple’s smart Christmas iTree is the best new thing for the holidays since eggnog
855. The White Houses twelve days of impeachment calendar is the latest trending Christmas gift
856. People’s Militia Group votes on proper punishment for downtown Fargo jaywalkers
857. Car full of dogs pulled over for excessive number of lane changes
858. Stevie Wonder comes to Fargo to do some snowmobiling
859. Dickinson team name changing from The Midgets to just The Dicks
860. How to find your groove pattern (before it’s too late)
861. Teams of foreign specialists coming to Fargo to study the mating habits of Fargo natives
862. No parking on streets of Fargo after 4 inches of snow has fallen
863. FMO’s medi-van to provide free medical check ups to shovelers
864. FMO to host free all-city concert featuring hot mega-band Neon Fruitcake
865. Your FM Observer is humbled to have once again won best website award
866. Moorhead’s turkey mitigation program getting high marks
867. Local service clubs helping to make snow forts for the homeless
868. Society beginning to show signs of early dementia along with schizophrenia and bipolarism
869. Days Of Our Lives soap opera being replaced by another called Endless Impeachment
870. Chief Justice John Roberts swears himself in during rare Senate moment
871. New school for gifted children requires quantitative proof that a child is gifted
872. Corona Virus now treatable with extra lime
873. Man’s death blamed on panic attack caused by extreme frustration during jigsaw puzzle tournament
874. This man doesn’t remember who he is. Can you help identify him?
875. Male who identifies as female to compete in next Miss North Dakota pageant
876. FM Observer donates valuable work of art to popular soup kitchen to boost morale
877. After Iowa caucus app fails, Iowa Dems using 1920s adding machine to try and calculate the victor
878. Fargo police add new dog that can detect weird activity
879. Weekly listing of divorces in Cass County
880. Amy Klobuchar wrestles woman to ground after being attacked
881. Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” wins the Oscar for best picture
882. Executive directors named for Fargo’s new combo church/hospital
883. West Fargo couple dies in car while waiting for traffic light to turn green
884. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles asked to help fight the corona virus
885. The new measure of health is pounds per vertical foot
886. Learn how to learn how to properly vape by attending beginner vaping classes
887. Leap Day was begun as an extra day to do something new or different
888. Survey asks: do we really need domesticated cats?
889. Moorhead man willing to part with N95 filtration masks for $100 each
890. Fargo man who dreams he was on a cruise ship wakes up with corona virus
891. Bernie Sanders waves good-bye to humanity as he leaves to become the first president of Mars
892. First machine to catch corona virus from a human is now “acting funny”
893. Fargo man impaled by large icicle doesn’t notice it until he gets home to his wife
894. Pandemic social distancing North Dakota style
895. FM Observer’s first annual Panic-Fest cancelled due to lack of toilet paper
896. South Park being used extensively as educational tool for pandemic home schooling
897. Russian Roulette Club once again seeking one new member
898. New home workout program called “Flatten Your Curves” gaining popularity
899. The 40 mental stages experienced during pandemic isolation

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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)