Loud Michael Bolton Music To Be Used At Southern Border To Dissuade Illegal Entries

March 31st, 2019 | by Johnnny

Large banks of speakers blasting Michael Bolton songs to be used to minimize illegal immigration.

Rio Grande, TX – Border patrol enforcement officers will soon be using an effective new weapon in their fight against illegal immigration across the southern border of the United States.

Very loud Michael Bolton songs have proven quite successful in preventing lab animals from climbing over fences and walls.

U.S. Border Agents believe this new strategery will work well in preventing thousands of undocumented Democrats from entering our country illegally.

The following list of Michael Bolton songs will be played loudly from large banks of speakers all along the southern border since they have shown to be especially effective at driving people away:

When A Man Loves A Woman
If You Don’t Know Me By Now
How Am I Supposed To Live Without You
Said I Loved You But I Lied
How Can We Be Lovers
Can I Touch You There?
Sexual Healing
I’ll Never Love This Way Again
Ain’t Got Nothing If You Ain’t Got Love
I’m Your Puppet


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)