September 4th, 2019 | by
Johnnny Dulutheran, MN – The Angelical Lutheran Church Of America (ALCOA) announced that it will become the denomination that opens its sanctuary doors up to any and all types of birds. Ms. Rose Grosbeak is the spokeswoman for...
March 31st, 2019 | by
Johnnny Rio Grande, TX – Border patrol enforcement officers will soon be using an effective new weapon in their fight against illegal immigration across the southern border of the United States. Very loud Michael Bolton songs have...
October 23rd, 2018 | by
Johnnny Mexico City – As part of Project Dissuasion, President Trump ordered up two hurricanes in an effort to prevent The Caravan from reaching the United States. Working in close conjunction with the National Hurricane Center,...
June 22nd, 2018 | by
Johnnny Brownsville, TX – The Fox Channel believes it has a new hit game show called “Find Your Parents”. Immigrant children who have recently been separated from their parent(s) while illegally crossing the southern...
December 8th, 2015 | by
Nick Hell’s portal is closed…for now Hell—Due to increasing skepticism over foreign immigration, The Cenobites, aka Satan’s Minions, have been denied entry to America via Hell’s customs portal. Pinhead, the...