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Mothership! Aliens Invading Fargo-Moorhead Workforce!
That’s right. Aliens have been trying to mingle amongst us here on earth for quite sometime and now their act has been compromised. How long has this been going on? How long have they been infiltrating our human race? All good questions that we have no answers to.
These human like aliens have been showing up in the Fargo-Moorhead workforce recently. Not because of their looks but because of the way they act.
Reports have been coming in of co-workers, managers, and bosses projecting weird and confusing like behavior from these “humans.”
Some reported observed behaviors include:
- eating very loud crunchy food at their desk
- shitting in the bathroom as loud as possible and not flushing
- somehow getting their pubic hair on the ceiling in the bathroom
- using corporate phrases such as “synergy”
- running to the bathroom out of nowhere because they are probably shitting an alien baby out of their rectum
- eating more food at their desk
- laughing while wheezing uncontrollably
- take 1 hour 30 min lunches and then complain when you take 1 hour and 10 min lunches
- creating unnecessary meetings or stand-up meetings when there are only two people
- talking where the words “bullshit” literally come out of their mouth, all in visible colorful letters
- creating answering machine greetings for their voicemail every morning where they make sure to include today’s date
- making sure they press the hang up button on their phone first before putting the phone down (aliens don’t know that they can just hang the phone up)
- business casual to them means t-shirts, flip flops, and christmas sweaters in march
These are just a few of the obvious signs that this person is NOT HUMAN.
Recent research has suggested that the mothership of these alien “humans” or “workers” is located in Tioga, ND. It is believed that they convene there to get new instructions uploaded into their alien brains, training, maintenance, and other things.
This is serious business people. If we don’t act now, what will become of the world? What will your children have to deal with? I’ll tell you. Stinky alien shit. That is what everyone will have to deal with if they don’t act soon. You will all be eating stinky alien shit for the rest of your lives, your children’s lives, and your children’s children’s lives. Now that is something to NOT look forward to.