Tag Archives: hungry

A Rare Pair Of Velociraptors Seen Wandering Through West Fargo

If you happen to see this pair of Velociraptors, please call 9-1-1 at your earliest convenience.

West Fargo, ND – City authorities who are not wanting to cause a panic, are trying to stay calm whilst warning the community that a very rare pair of Velociraptors has been seen walking around within city limits.

Dr. Sarlo Petrovic and his spousemate Claire Provost have been flown into West Fargo to monitor this unusual situation.

“Yes, this would indeed be quite similar to the Jurassic Park scenario where two speedy raptors who are known for their rapacious appetite would be wandering around looking for food and fun”, says Dr. Petrovic.

Ms. Provost mentioned that her dino-cell testing lab in Canada recently reported two missing Velociraptors who go by the name of Pelto and Provo.

She advises: “If you happen to see my two dear raptors in your yard, please let us know.”

“If they’re hungry, they could be considered dangerous, but they’re usually quite harmless and playfully curious.”

Ironically, all the letters in Sarlo Petrovic and Claire Provost can be re-arranged to spell: Velociraptors!

Polar Bear That Enters North Fargo Grocery Store Ends Up In The Canned Meats Aisle

Polar bear enters North Fargo grocery store in search of food.

North Fargo, ND – In what authorities are describing as a very rare occurrence, a hungry large polar bear wandered into a grocery store in North Fargo.

It is believed that some of these arctic carnivores are being driven South to find food because of Global Melting.

Security video cameras recorded the half ton polar bear entering the back door of the grocery store around midnight.

Polar bear ends up in the canned meats aisle.

Meat manager Branden Caporale said the white polar bear went straight to the fresh fish section after eating a few rare steaks.

Luckily, a pair of off-duty police officers had their tazers handy and the polar bear was able to be eventually detained with two pairs of extra-large handcuffs.

When asked what ever became of the polar bear, Mr. Caporale said that a joint decision was made to offer their customers a limited-time offer of fresh canned polar bear meat, which they can find in the canned meats aisle, right next to the sardines.

Ironically, all of the letters in Branden Caporale can be re-arranged to spell: Canned Polar Bear!

Contest Winner Eats 81 Tacos In 15 Minutes

How many hard-shell tacos can you eat in 15 minutes?

Moorhead, MN – What do you do when you’re really hungry?

Well, during Moorhead’s recent Taco Eating Contest, a Moorhead man named Tomas Couch set a new record by consuming 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes.

The previous record set last year by Audie Boelz was an astounding 77 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes.

Moorhead originally began their annual Taco Eating Contest back in 1970 when the taco was first discovered in Mexico by a Moorhead tour group.

FMO: So, how did you feel after you ate 81 hard-shell tacos in 15 minutes?

Tomas Couch: I probably would’ve felt better if they would’ve been soft-shell tacos!

Ironically, all the letters in Tomas Couch can be re-arranged in 15 minutes to spell: Mucho Tacos!