Tag Archives: MLB

Twins Select Janitor In 2014 MLB Draft

Minneapolisstanley-spadowski, MN—The 2014 Major League Baseball draft has uninterestingly concluded, resulting in something like 80 or so guys taken by the Minnesota Twins. Among the players drafted were four St. Paul Saints infielders in addition to St. Paul Saints clubhouse janitor Chlaff Peenisackle.

“Scouted him during batting practice. Great footwork, swings his stick like a natural,” explained Twins GM Terry Ryan. The Twins have made a marginally-successful ballclub out of scouting raw talent within their farm system. Mop-wielder Peenisackle should be no exception.

The club deployed Similar tactics during the 2013 draft with their selection of Target Field groundskeeper Bronk Clobbler.

Twins Baseball Preview: Ron Gardenhire promises to lose at least 80 games in 2012

Fort Myers, FL – In the midst of Minnesota Twins baseball spring training, skipper Ron Gardenhire is already making some bold predictions for the upcoming 2012 season. When asked how he thought his team looked so far this preseason, Gardy had this to say:

“I’d like to think we’ll contend for last place in the American League again this year, but personally, I think barely missing a Wild Card berth is more realistic. That’s going to require us losing quite a few games. If we really band together as a ballclub and play as lousy as we did in 2011, i’d say we could lose as many as 80 games this year. With the M&M boys (Mauer & Morneau) looking sluggish and overpaid and a shaky pitching rotation that includes a very suspect bullpen, we will lose 80 games or more. That’s a guarantee.”

Gardy went on to say that he thinks that the Tigers are loaded and will definitely sweep the Twins this year and win the division.