Tag Archives: mouse

Survey Asks: Do We Really Need Domesticated Cats?

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One thing that everyone agrees on: Domesticated cats are now obsolete!

Catalina, Arizona – We recently surveyed less than a million people asking about cats as pets.

The overall consensus from our expensive and extensive survey was that domesticated cats have now become obsolete.

Case in point: Let’s take the average domesticated cat for example.

Your typical house cat has become bored, lazy, and fat.

Today’s modern couch cat goes from catatonic cat naps to over-using recreational catnip with an occasional caterwaul for more of the same.

Domesticated cats are an embarrassment to their species and are nearly unrecognizable from their ancestral progenitors.

The solution to this catastrophe is to release today’s home-bound cats out into the wild to give them a purpose again: Mouse and Vole Patrol!

In summary: Do we really still need to have domesticated cats? The answer is a categorical: NO!

Lutheran Social Services Bringing In Many Mice From MN Lakes Area Due To Lack Of Acorns There

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Perhaps only an audit will reveal how many mice are being brought into town.

Perhaps only an audit will reveal how many mice are being brought into town.

Fargo, ND – In what many see as compassionate humanitarian assistance, Lutheran Social Services of Fargo has been bringing unknown numbers of mice from the Minnesota lakes area into the Fargo area to be resettled here.

A dearth of acorns in Minnesota due to some harmful climate change last Spring is leaving the mouse population scrambling to find food as winter inexorably approaches.

Some others are questioning if and how many mice Lutheran Social Services should be bringing into the Fargo-Moorhead area.

When we asked a random, anonymous homeless person what he thought about it, this is what he said: “Organizations like LSS exist for the very reason to assist anyone who perhaps needs help escaping dire circumstances such as lack of food and shelter.”

But now, instead of lake home owners finding mice in their Minnesota cabin’s drawers and cupboards, they’re seeing evidence of them in their Fargo homes and work places.

Hopefully the Fargo City Commission can get to the bottom of this situation by doing an investigative probe into the numbers involved here after they have a chance to examine, assess, evaluate, review, and scrutinize all parties connected to the mouse migration analysis.