Category Archives: Recipes For Success

You can build anything if you have the Recipe For Success

Local Art Show To Help Hillary’s Legal Defense Fund

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Local artist Amsterdam Douglass is donating his ‘Pink Daisy’ painting to help Hillary get elected from prison.

Fargo, ND – A new local Fargo art gallery (YOGART Gallery) is having a special art show (Help Hillary Now!) to help raise money for Hillary’s Clinton’s Legal Defense Fund.

Facing a possibly long stay in prison (15 years) for breaking multiple federal laws, Hillary (The Pillary) is going to need a lot of money to not only pay all the expected legal fees but also for needed protection in prison (by Secret Server Agents).

Fargo artist Amsterdam Douglass: “I am donating my ‘Pink Daisy’ painting (worth an estimated $100,000 on eBay) to help get the ball rolling toward being proactively raising funds to help what could be our first-ever female US president to be elected and serve as president, all from the comfortable confines of prison.“

Many Considering Getting A Shingle Shot Opting For A Double Shot Instead

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Would you rather have a shingle shot or a double shot?

Would you rather have a shingle or a double shot?

Fargo, ND – To avoid a reactivation of the chickenpox virus, many people are being encouraged to go get a shingle shot from their healthcare provider.

Even though the vaccine could cause a reaction, most doctors say it’s worth the risk as opposed to suffering from the painful rash and blisters associated with getting shingles.

In the Fargo area, a majority of people at risk are choosing to go have a double shot instead of getting the shingle shot.

Markus Wolf is one of them: “Immediately after my double shot, I felt better. I would recommend having a double shot at your favorite local pub.”

Fighting Sioux Fans Plan Freedom-Of-Speech Class Action LawSuit Against NCAA

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The land of the free, and the home of the Sioux!

The land of the free, and the home of the Sioux!

Grand Forks, ND – After it was learned that the NCAA is threatening the University of North Dakota with more penalties and sanctions if the fans continue to yell out “Sioux” at the end of the National Anthem, Sioux fans are planning to sue.

One older woman who has been attending Fighting Sioux hockey games since 1943 said: “This is complete bullshit – the NCAA telling us what we, the fans, can and cannot say. This really fricking bites. Makes me so mad I want to throw my dentures out onto the ice!”

Another fanatic, who is pre-law, opined: “I do believe a crowd of sports fans has the right under our freedom of speech to verbally cheer for a team in any way they see fit. The National Collegiate Athletic Association which was founded by “The Cowboy of the Dakotas“, President Teddy Roosevelt, does not have the power to limit fan speech before, during, or after a game.”

Litigious fans of the former Fighting Sioux plan on filing their complaint to petition the court to get this case certified as a civil rights class action lawsuit. Meanwhile, Ralph Engelstad was unavailable for comment but the word is that the gorgeous world-class Grand Forks hockey arena that bears his name will soon be torn down brick by brick.

Donald Trump Planning Fly-Overs To Drop $100 Bills In Many Key Voting States

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Donald Trump ponders how rich he is.

New York, NY – The next president of the United States wants to thank you in advance for your vote by dropping $100 bills from the sky.

If you live in a key battleground state, expect to see Donald Trump’s plane doing a low slow fly-over while personally emptying bags of cash over your neighborhood.

President Donald Trump: “I am very, very rich and want to do this to begin to make America great again.”

When asked if this is just a blatant attempt to buy votes, Mr. Trump responded: “You must be having a bad day. Based on your loser question, you obviously are wearing those glasses just to try to make you look smart, and you certainly do not understand how trickle down economics works in the real world. Even though you don’t work for me, YOU’RE FIRED!”

Many Fargo Dogs And Dog Owners Using Magic Mushroom Therapy To Create A Closer Bondage

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Get to know your dog through Mushroom Therapy.

Get to know your dog better through the magic of Magic Mushroom Therapy™.

Fargo, ND – For dog owners wanting to create a closer bond between themselves and their dogs, Magic Mushroom Therapy™ is showing some very promising results.

Magic Mushroom Therapy™ now can safely provide you and your dog a weekend bonding experience like no other.

After sending for your Magic Mushroom Therapy™ kit, you will receive a brightly-colored box in the mail that contains everything that you will need inside.

On a quiet Friday night, first put out the sign provided in the box that says “Warning: Dog and Owner Tripping On Mushrooms”.

Then give half of the mushrooms to your dog while you eat the other half.

Use the rope provided to tie your ankle to your dog’s ankle.

(These first two steps are the beginning of your bonding experience.)

Over the next few nights and days, you and your dog will experience a wide range of fun and unusual adventures all in the privacy and safety of your own home or apartment.

Hopefully by sometime on Sunday afternoon when things begin to “settle down” a bit, you and your dog will feel much closer to each other as well as have a new-found deep trust that only comes from undergoing Magic Mushroom Therapy™ together.

Visit Fargo’s Famous Upside Down House

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Take your frown & turn it upside down.

Fargo, ND – One of Fargo’s lesser known but more popular tourist attractions is the Upside Down House.

Executive Director Chidinma Obialo who grew up upside down says Fargo’s Upside Down House is the only one of its kind in the entire country.

Guests are encouraged to write upside down comments on the walls of the house.

The comments range from: “˙uǝǝs ɹǝʌǝ ǝʌɐɥ I ǝɔɐld dn pǝʞɔnɟ ʇsoɯ ǝɥʇ sᴉ sᴉɥʇ”

to: “˙uʍop ǝpᴉsdn ǝʌᴉl oʇ ʇuɐʍ ᴉ dn ʍoɹƃ ᴉ uǝɥʍ”

The Upside Down House is easy to find: Just go six blocks East, turn North for about a half mile, and then turn onto Upside Down Drive.

ND License Plates Being Widened To 14 Characters

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New ND License Plates: 14 Characters Wide! Just imagine the possibilities!

Bismarck, ND – The state that leads the country in grain growing, oil fracking, and honey bee production will also be the first state to offer double-wide license plates.

North Dakota will soon widen its license plates to fourteen (14) characters.

This is partly due to the fact that Lutheran Social Services is bringing in so many refugees that the current number of seven (7) characters will soon not be enough.

So, start thinking about what you might want on your next vanity license plate for your clunker car.

At fourteen characters in width, here are some possibilities that you might see cutting in front of you during rush hour:

ANTIGOVERNMENT, CLAUSTROPHOBIA, DETOXIFICATION, HALLUCINATIONS, MISINFORMATION, REHABILITATION, STRAIGHTJACKET, WHIPPERSNAPPER, and ZOMBIFICATIONS.

Wild Zebra Continues To Run Rings Around Fargo

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What is this zebra trying to tell the people of Fargo?

Fargo, ND – For some unknown reason, a wild zebra continues to run circles around the entire city of Fargo.

According to our sources, this unusual activity began about a month ago.

Some believe the animal is trying to communicate a special message to the people of Fargo. Perhaps it has some important information about Cecil, the Dead Lion King!?

Others think the zebra is simply going crazy, losing it, cracking up, freaking out, and/or having a major meltdown.

What do you think? We want to know!

Update: Local law enforcement officers are now offering a $10,000 reward for the capture of this wild zebra.

In Case You’re Not Sure, Take The FMO Sanity Test

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The crazy thing is is that if you are insane, you probably won’t know it, because you probably won’t know if you are insane, or not.

West Fargo, ND – During the lazy hazy crazy days of summer, we here at the FMObserver Headquarters decided to provide a much-needed free community service by rolling out the next installment of our scientifically designed Sanity Test.

It is scientifically designed to determine whether or not you are sane, or not.

If the test does in fact determine that you are not sane, do not panic. The test can be taken over and over until you somehow are determined to not be insane.

1. Simply answer each of the following carefully crafted questions honestly.
2. Email us all of your responses.
3. A real doctor on our staff will contact you and tell you if you’re sane or insane.

FMObserver Sanity Test:

A. Do you own your own straight jacket?
B. Do dogs bark at you for no apparent reason?
C. Do you experience road rage on a regular basis?
D. Do people look at you and think “What the fuck?”
E. Have you recently punched holes in any drywall?
F. After you speak, do others look totally confused?
G. Do you hear voices telling you to do “bad things”?
H. Did you believe that WE Fest 2014 had been cancelled?
I. Do you believe that WE Fest 2015 has not been cancelled?
J. Are there any restraining orders currently against you?
K. Do you often find yourself talking to people on the TV?
L. Do birds land on you while sitting outdoors or indoors?
M. Is Batman real and is he perched on your porch right now?
N. Has a panic attack ever turned into a full-blown meltdown?
O. Are you excluded from your family reunions and getogethers?
P. Do you wear an aluminum foil hat every time you leave home?
Q. Does it seems like Federal Agents are following you everywhere?
R. Do you often misplace the keys to your intergalactic party bus?
S. Do you solely listen to and sing along with County Western music?
T. Do you believe Donald Trump would make a good Commander-In-Chief?
U. Does uncontrollable laugher often turn into uncontrollable crying?
V. Do simple things (like time and money) no longer make sense to you?
W. Are you worried that at any moment you may be swallowed up by quicksand?
X. Are you currently stalking any people who would consider you a stranger?
Y. Have you travelled at a subsonic speed during the last hour of hypersleep?
Z. Have you prepared your surroundings for impending world domination from Moon Man?

It’s Official: Jar Jar Binks Is Moving To Fargo!

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Donatella Versace shares her beauty secrets.

Say hello to Fargo’s newest celebrity!

Fargo, ND – After much behind-the-scenes planning and excitement, Jar Jar “JJ” Binks has decided to “settle down” in Fargo, North Dakota.

Known for being one of the most popular of all the Star Wars characters, a large portion of JJ’s vast wealth comes from his Binks Armored Truck services and for briefly being married to the very lovely and super rich Donatella Versace.

Mr. Binks says he is moving to Fargo because of the region’s relative safety and lack of paparazzi.

Jar Jar’s message to the people of Fargo: “Mesa called Jar-Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant!”

Jar Jar is also seeking a life mate.

JJ likes walks down by the river, sipping wine, back rubs, book discussion clubs, and watching Kung Fu late at night.